Navigating times of transition. This coming Monday marks a significant day for me. It is my last day working at a part-time job I've had for the last three and a half years as a nanny for a little boy, now almost four. I started this position when Embrace Your Essence was still a fledgling, and wasn't quite able to support itself on its own yet. Leaning into my background in early education, and spending a couple afternoons a week with this little kiddo has provided great fulfillment and joy, and also given Embrace Your Essence the breathing room it needed to grow without unnecessary demands.
Of course, over this time, both the business and the child have grown and both have different needs now. Embrace Your Essence is now in a place where it is sustaining itself, but also requiring more time and space to flourish as it continues to grow. A few months ago this became undeniably clear to me, and after a conversation with the family, I've been making the transition out of nannying and into Embrace Your Essence even more fully. Over the course of the last several months as this has been evolving, I have been doing my best to honor the process of this transition. As the precipice of change is so close, these ways of integrating and moving through have been very poignant on my mind. As many of you may be in transition times yourself, I would like to share some of the key pieces I've been reminded of for moving through with grace. Get yourself plenty of space. Times to be still or allow yourself to not actively be doing something gives room to integrate all the energetic shifts that are happening under the surface. Breathe. Meditate. Sleep. Gaze out the window, or lay on the grass. Though I did mention stillness, conscious, present movement can be supportive too (such as yoga or an easy walk with the intent to be with yourself and your experience). There may be many facets of your experience that need to be witnessed so they can fully move through and out of you. If we rush around, or are constantly engaged in activity, it delays the processing of these pieces. There is nothing wrong with this, just know that they will peak their head up later to receive the attention they need. You have permission to slow down, and to say no to certain things if that feels like it will give you the room you need to process. Get support. We all need others to help buoy us up, especially when things are in flux. Turn to people you trust who can listen, who are willing to offer nourishment in the ways you need it. Eat good food. Lean into community. Ask for what you need. Look for the ways you are provided it. Allow yourself to receive from those with whom you feel safe. Accept and allow discomfort. Transitions bring up a whole slew of emotions. Excitement, fear, grief, hope, and everything in between. All of it is valid. All of it needs to be seen. Some of it you may be more comfortable with than others. Witness and breathe into it, and cradle it. If you can, catch ways your mind may be trying to protect yourself from fully feeling everything that is there. For instance, I noticed myself continually contemplating the appropriate goodbye gift for the family and little boy. Even though I had landed on something, for at least a month, my mind kept returning to it thinking it wasn't enough. I held this though pattern with open curiosity, knowing there was something more to this, and wanting to see how it might relate to my healing. Finally, it occurred to me. A part of me felt that if I found the perfect gift to encompass all the beautiful, rich experiences we've had together over the last three years, that it would have been a gateway for all my emotions. No such object exists. I had to trust that the unfolding of each experience we shared together in that particular moment was enough. My responsibility instead, was to sit with the full range of emotions that were present for me. Honor where you have been. In the space and cradle of support, reflect on what has unfolded within you as a result of the experience that is ending or beginning. How has/is your soul growing and unfolding? What do you have access to now, that you didn't have before? Clarity, compassion, freedom, love, awareness, truth.... Connect with gratitude within your heart for what you have received and learned that you are taking with you. Nourish hope. With most, if not all, transitions, something is ending, so something new can begin. The presence of the unknown makes itself unavoidably clear. At various points within the transition, fear can rear its head at the mere thought of the unknown. Sit with this discomfort, and as you do, also listen for the inklings of love and support that may drop themselves like breadcrumbs along your trail. Note them, cherish them, and put them in your pocket. Remind yourself of them when fear or doubt shows up. Move slowly if you need to to trust that you are truly safe to move forward. Course correct if needed. Transitions can be big on the surface like a job change, moving, birth, death, or shifting through different phases of life (this includes our own phases, but also when our children, parents, and significant others move through them too). But sometimes, they show up more subtly, like letting go of a habit or belief. No matter where you may find yourself if your in transition, I encourage you to explore the processes shared above and see if they feel beneficial for you. If you feel inclined to share, comment on our blog or send me an email, and let us know what transition you are in and how you are supporting yourself. With grace and compassion, Sarah
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The conundrum that vexes many heart-centered people I was speaking with a client recently, and through our conversation it was clear that she had been aware of things that others around her didn't seem to notice. She could tell when something was up with her loved ones even when they tried to hide it, and she seemed to have a sense of what these people needed. She could see them, or really, she could feel them. She was well aware of the pain around her, and also of the beauty and love that others sometimes could not see. It became clear: she has always been an empath.
"Now that I know I'm an empath, does this mean that it is my job to save people if I know they are suffering?" she wondered. No, it does not. We do not have to whoosh in and rescue loved ones and strangers, because of this intuitive awareness we feel in our bodies. We also do not have to completely block ourselves off from the world, and disassociate to protect ourselves. There is a middle way. A path that we can traverse where we remain connected in our hearts and conscious of what is unfolding around us, but we remained grounded in what is our true responsibility: ourselves. We remember that also applies to everyone else. It isn't always easy to practice this when have been living the majority of our lives enmeshed or detached. But with a fair dose of self-compassion, and patience, we can connect with the strength and kindness we need to navigate life fully present. We will be exploring this life-long practice, and supportive wisdom to soak in during the Empowered Empath series which begins a week from today. If you are curious, you can learn more here. Feel the pull to step in with us? Three spots remain available as of today. Book & pay online, email, or call 608-335-1934. No matter whether you find yourself with empathic abilities or not, I invite you to notice if you have any tendencies to take responsibility for other people's problems, or to distance yourself from discomfort. Explore for yourself ways that you can maintain autonomy for your experience, and surrender any burdens outside of that. I'd love to hear what you notice. Share your comments below, or send me an email. Hope you are well, Sarah Delight in Your Aliveness The French have a term "joie de vivre", meaning a delight in being alive, a carefree enjoyment of life, or exultation of spirit. After facing some of my own "demons" over the last few months—a fear of loss, and death—I had the realization that an antidote for many of our fears is to live fully alive. Embrace the present moment for what it is, allow ourselves to be who we really are, follow the little (or perhaps strong) nudgings of our heart, love those in our life fully, and be willing to express that, and delight in the simple pleasures of life. If we allow ourselves to be all that we are, gracefully let go of what we are not, and let our day be guided by our inner joy, our fears dissolve.
Perhaps you will find it as the wind grazes your face, in the scent of blooming milkweed, from the kindness of a stranger, watching a child squeal with glee, making a step toward that trip you have always wanted to take, giving in to your soul's urging to pick up a cello and explore how the friction of the bow on strings produces pure sound, or picking up the phone to repair a relationship with a beloved. My question for you is, how can you step into this joie de vivre in some way today? How can you allow yourself to be more fully You? If you feel inspired, practice this in a least a small way everyday. Share how you personally cultivate joie de vivre in the comments below. With Lightness, Sarah Barlow Every moment we have a choice to feed fear or love within us. Every moment we have the opportunity to choose how we are going to treat ourselves, others, and what we create and allow within our life. The small and consistent choices we make will steer us into the realm we have chosen. As told by the Cherokee legend of the "Wolves Within":
A grandson comes to his grandfather plagued with anger about an injustice incurred to him by a friend. The grandfather nods and replies, "I too have felt indignant about those who have treated me without respect and without remorse. But anger slowly wears you down. It is like taking a poison, but wishing it would kill your enemy. It is as if there are two wolves inside of me. One is loving, peaceful, and kind. It lives in harmony with those around him, and does not take offense when others lash out from their own suffering. When it is time to stand up for something, he is strong, patient, compassionate, and forgiving. The other wolf is full of anger and fear. It feels the whole world is out to get him. He is no stranger to resentment, jealousy, false pride, self-pity, guilt, and sorrow. The littlest thing will set him off, and he will fight everyone for no reason. He cannot think because his anger and fear are so great. It is helpless anger, because it will change nothing. Sometimes, it can be challenging to live with these two wolves inside of me, for they both wish to dominate my spirit." The boy thought for a moment, and asked, "Which wolf will win?" The grandfather smiled and quietly replied, "The one I feed." We each have these wolves within us. The question is, which one are you feeding? The opportunities are often, and sometimes subtle. Sometimes our actions remain the same, but our intention behind it, our thoughts and emotions shift. We can lift our suffering, and those of others, or we can strengthen it. Bring awareness to your thoughts and feelings. What do you notice? Are certain thoughts stuck on repeat? I have found that once I have noticed when I have been feeding the wolf of self-deprecation, fear, and defensiveness within myself, I can pause, breathe, and invite in the awareness of my wolf of compassion, forgiveness, and trust. As I do, my whole energy shifts. I am able to smile more. I feel lighter, and I am able to give everyone else a break. Even though we all are continuously choosing one wolf or the other, so many of us are not even aware of this choice. Perhaps, one wolf has been barking and snarling so loud and ferociously, we had a hard time seeing the peaceful wolf napping in the background. Remember, when you feed the wolf of anger and fear, that is what you will see within yourself, others, and the world. When you feed the wolf of joy and harmony, that is what you will see in yourself, others, and the world. Every moment is an opportunity to choose, even if you have forgotten for a while. What do you want to see? With Respect, Sarah Barlow My heart is in a rock tumbler, but don't feel sorry for me... Embracing the process, the ripening of the soul. Over the last few months, a series of events has catapulted me deep within, experiencing the fabric of the universe. Something within me is shifting in a very significant way. And, at the moment, I am not quite sure what it is and which end is up, but what I can tell you is that it is needed, and growth is eminent. I can feel the process churning within me.
Why am I telling you this? Because, perhaps now, sometime in the past, or someday in the future you have or may find yourself in your own unique version of this, triggered by the perfect moment to stir your deeper awakening. Something subtle, but entirely profound operating beneath the surface. If we don't remember to breathe while we hold ourselves and our experience in gentle awareness, it can get painful quick. But if we allow it all to unfold without making anything right or wrong, we cultivate a ripe environment for wisdom to reveal itself to us. I could disclose the details of the story that has led me here, but that feels like a distraction right now. Perhaps it is something I will share at another time. What I will share with you now is this, a poem I wrote earlier this week that captures the experience emerging within me. May there be something here that feeds your soul. My heart is in a rock tumbler but don't feel sorry for me My heart is breaking open softening the zagged edges chipped away intimately acquainting with the depth of experience the fabric of the universe the profundity that is often skimmed over in the day to day My heart is breaking open but I do not feel pain the softness, the compassion, the cradling that accompanies grief surrounds me Without fear I surrender myself to the process embracing vulnerability that is my grace I let my head fall back, chest unfurl to the sky, and fully collapse my trying, my "strength" and find I am held gently lifted by Grace That, in time, the lessons within may seep in like rainwater gently trickling through the earth to the reservoir That I have and am enough I am that which is beyond love benevolence, humility, compassion My heart is breaking open but do not feel sad for me Within is revealed the goo of my center, the Truth of my Nature that which I am becoming that which we have always been Blessings Dear Ones, Sarah Barlow "Is love available even here?" As we all go about our respective activities today, I invite you to take a moment to breathe.
How are you doing? Really. How are you? Check in to feel/see/hear if you are being honest with yourself as you answer that. You are allowed to be experiencing whatever it is that is occurring within you. You may grant yourself permission. When you set aside all the "shoulds", "I wish I were this, I wish he were that, I wish things were different...", the parts of you that think you have done something wrong, or are not enough, or the fears that what you are experiencing won't (or will) last, what is there? Notice sensations in your body, emotions, and your thoughts. On Thanksgiving, our minds shift to gratitude, which is healing in itself. But, if we are not in a space where we genuinely feel grateful, where we can't authentically access it, we feel worse. We are faking it. So what do you genuinely feel? Whether you feel brimming with gratitude, exhausted, grieving, content, frustrated or anywhere in between, call it what it is. Allowing the space to feel what you feel without trying to make anything different is giving yourself the gift of acceptance. As you begin to give and receive this within yourself, what do you notice? As you go about this Thanksgiving day, I invite you to continually check in with yourself, and tune into your heart asking, "Is love available to me even here?" If you feel inspired to share your experience with this, I would love to hear from you. Send me an email or write your comments below. Many blessings, Sarah Offer compassion first to yourself. Hello Friends,
Today, I want to share with you the Buddhist practice of Metta (loving-kindness). This is a mantra or offering that you first extend to yourself: May I be safe. May my true needs be fulfilled. May I have food to eat, warm clothes, and a safe place to sleep. May I be happy. May I develop unconditional happiness. May I taste the nectar of flow in all activity, expansion, and contraction. May I be healthy. May I be resilient in the face of challenge. May I be aware of my own limits and respect them. May I be peaceful. May I be at ease, awake, and relaxed. May I be a friend toward myself and towards all beings. You may simplify the mantra to just the first phrases of each verse if you like. Once you have extended the loving kindness toward yourself, you may choose to then offer it to your loved ones, then acquaintances, then people you feel neutral towards, then "enemies", and finally to all of creation. I hope this practice brings you comfort, and helps soften any parts of you that are needing extra care. Even if you only offer this practice towards yourself, remember you are doing a great service to the world. Often we are the ones we need to receive the compassion from the most. Many blessings, Sarah |
Sarah Barlow
Reiki Master Teacher and Owner of Embrace Your Essence Sign up for our E-Letters Here
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