Musings from the Journey
Enhance your life and fortify a deeper connection with your True Self.
 My compassion used to get me in trouble years ago.
I'd find myself in a scenario with someone I cared about and I knew well, and they'd be lashing out at me. Eventually the interaction would shift from dumping to apologies. They were so sorry. They were lashing out because of trauma that happened to them in the past. Then things would be calm for a while. Days would pass, and eventually the cycle would repeat. They weren't wrong. I could see why they were hurting, and behaving that way. That person had been cruel to them. They had been through something very difficult. It all made sense to me, and I let that be an excuse for how they would talk to me, even though it would leave me upset and discombobulated to be their dumping ground. I hoped they'd eventually find healing, and it'd get better. Eventually, I realized that this bounty of compassion I was extending to them, I wasn't extending to myself for being in this situation. Also, that this person was a grown ass adult, and capable of taking responsibility for the way they show up. By being so understanding of their wounds, and not setting the boundary that I would remove myself if they would lash out, I was enabling them to continue treating me poorly. I did set the boundary, and because the behavior continued even after, it meant I ultimately left that relationship. Finally, I let the scales balance so I had just as much compassion (and protection) for myself as I did the other person. My compassion for them didn't go away, BUT the way I took care of myself in that situation changed. I share this, because sometimes I hear clients recalling similar conundrums. It is a very difficult place to be. And perhaps you, or someone you know, needs to hear the words that I would become a mantra for me: An explanation is not an excuse. Years later, I still stand by these words. I have compassion for people who are suffering, and have trauma. It is real, and painful. AND, if you are an adult, in the vast majority of situations, you have access to free and professional resources (books, podcasts, support groups, therapy, classes, etc) that can help you heal. Part of healing is taking accountability for our actions, and ensuring that we don't let that cycle continue by harming others. Do what you need to do to take care of yourself. Okay? Stay tuned next week for our next slogan. ;) Find yourself in this scenario, or another that you can use support with? Reach out! In Solidarity, Humility, and Strength, Sarah
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 Happy Spring!
What kinds of literal and metaphoric seeds are you wanting to plant in your life this year? Now is a great time to let the energy of the season hold our budding intentions and nurture their growth. If you'd like to practice a simple ceremony, you can pick up a pack of seeds to plant. Hold the intentions that you would like to grow as you place the seeds in the ground. You can put them in pots you will tend, or scatter them and let nature work it's magic. Not all of our seeds will take root, but yet life has a way of wanting to grow. Keep an eye on them throughout the year, and tend to them if you feel called. Let these seedlings inspire you as you watch your intentions grow, and find ways to nurture them in your life. Reiki is a lovely way to plant and support seeds in our life. Set something up today. In light and warmth, Sarah  It is wonderful when we feel comfort, peace, and calm in our bodies and minds. It's one of my favorite things about receiving and giving Reiki. While I would love for our lives to be easy breezy lemon squeezy all the time, we know that isn't a realistic goal.
In some contexts, staying comfortable in the moment perpetuates dynamics that in the long run are unhealthy. This might be:
Then it's a bit like working out, and building your capacity to stand up, set boundaries with others or ourselves, or taking the other action that is necessary to move towards what we want. For clarity, I want to emphasize that with building our capacity for discomfort, I don't mean tolerating unacceptable behavior or circumstances. In fact, the opposite. As we allow our internal discomfort to inform us, and fortify our courage, our tolerance for unhealthy dynamics usually goes way down. This is a good thing. We are instead strengthening our ability to face the situation to do what is needed to shift or remove ourselves from that pattern. Always here to stand with you as you feel those feelings, and figure out what you need to do, and foster the courage and fortitude to do what's necessary. Warmly, Sarah  Insert Your Name for Divinity/Compassionate Presence Here],
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference. I'm meditating on the serenity prayer this morning. I'm noticing that what's happening in the world is scraping up similar energies in our personal lives. Notably, some are facing their own traumas (old or existing) surrounding boundary violations, consent, etc. as the Epstein Files have emerged. Whether you are facing this or other dynamics that mirror the macrocosm in your own little sphere, tending to them with healing hands and presence will help bring mending and resolve in your own life, and send those ripples out into the whole. There are many of us doing this personal work right now, and it matters, on a small and collective level. Sometimes the things in the whole feel too big to tackle, and in some ways, they are, at least alone. But if we all do the things we need to in our spheres, and pull out the little pebbles in the wall of the collective that we can reach, eventually the big wall of bullshit will crumble. (Yes, that is the technical term for it. ;) ) Try not to get stuck on the extreme ends of that spectrum:
Really each of us, individually, we fall somewhere in the middle. Tend to your personal world, and pull on the thread that connects you to the collective to leverage change there. With enough of us doing that we can be like an army of strong ants! If you haven't heard, the next No Kings rally is coming up on Saturday March 28th. Make your plans to show up and support! Want some support moving through the stuff bubbling up in your own world, or to have the capacity to keep showing up during these times? I gotchu. Maybe you want to be a healing presence yourself? Consider our Reiki training. We are still taking registrants, and will start once we reach a decent class size. Join our waitlist, or commit by fillng out the registration and submit a deposit. Keep on, keepin' on! Sarah |
Sarah Barlow
Reiki Master Teacher and Owner of Embrace Your Essence Sign up for our E-Letters Here
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