Musings from the Journey
Enhance your life and fortify a deeper connection with your True Self.
 If you have been around me for a while, you probably know that I am a loving and devoted a cat lady to my two handsome fellas Orangie and JoJo. So much so, I even embraced my quirkiness and held a 10 Years of Gotcha party last year.
So, when I realized that Monsieur Fluffermuffin Orangie, who is becoming mature in age, is starting to have some kidney and digestive troubles, I started diligently trying to find ways to help him stay as healthy and happy as possible. Naturally, I've been working with my vet to explore various options to help him. I've been aiming to give Orangie more Reiki than usual to try to help him. His energy had been a bit less, and appetite there, but not the best. I'd done Reiki for him a few nights one week, then gave him a particularly long distant Reiki sesh one night. He was sleeping under my bed, and I laid on the couch using my beanie baby proxy to work on his intestines and kidneys. I could feel a lot shifting. The next morning, Orangie was waking me up by getting into things (he had a habit of that before), he looked chipper and bright, his appetite was ravenous, and, oh, the zoomies! He was chasing his brother around like a little fiend. I was very encouraged to see how much that distant Reiki helped him. I'm hoping that with continued sessions like that, and following vet recommendations that he'll have many more years as a happy kitty. This is just one example of a day-to-day way that practicing Reiki can be a supportive force in your life. (And, clearly not a placebo effect, since he wouldn't have known otherwise I was giving him Reiki, and he's a cat!) Perhaps, you'd like to learn Reiki to be able to offer to your loved ones in need? Reiki I starts June 27th, and registration closes on the 19th. Or, maybe you have a pet that could also benefit from some healing work! I'd be happy to do a remote session for them too! Or, maybe you're just a mere mortal with troubles of your own, and you want some support. I gotchu, Sarah
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 I've been writing a lot lately about an unhealthy relationship dynamic I was in years ago. See my posts: An Explanation is Not an Excuse, and The Best Apology. What can I say, I'm inspired! ;) I garnered a lot of hard-fought wisdom from that relationship, and the juices are flowing now that I opened the gates. Can you relate? If so, hugs.
If you missed those posts, the essence is I participated in a dynamic that would feel fine for a while. Then, tick, tick, tick, boom! Lash out. Apologies, contrition. Things calm for a while, repeat. This person was dear to me. We would laugh and have deep conversations. But the smallest thing I would do could also set this person off. Sometimes they would imbibe a little to much, and the scales would tip. They would treat me as if I was their mortal enemy, and not someone dear to them. I never really knew which side of this person I was going to get. Would I get the person I loved, and had fun with, or the one that would lacerate me with their words? Sometimes I could predict what was coming, other times it would take me off guard. After many years of this dynamic, information finally soaked into my consciousness that would help me, once and for all, break the cycle. I was listening to a YouTube video about trauma bonds from Put the Shovel Down, a channel about helping people get into recovery from addiction. It explained how the unpredictable highs and lows of some relationships, can make them addictive. Not knowing what side of someone is going to show up is a bit of a gamble. Especially when there are good experiences mixed in there, you're always hoping for that. You never fully let go of the potential that this might happen, even when you get hurt by the alternative. The term for this is intermittent reinforcement. It's what makes it so hard to leave a relationship that isn't good for you. It might be good sometimes, even though it's really bad at other times. Or, maybe it's mostly bad now, but it was really good in the beginning, and you keep hoping for that euphoria to come back, maybe this time. What helped me leave was acknowledging that if I wanted this person to get into recovery, so did I. Viewing myself as addicted to that relationship, sobered me up to do the really hard thing. I left, and knew it might be as hard as anyone else who was trying to get clean, but I was committed to getting better. This is one of the reasons why is it difficult for so many people to truly leave abusive relationships. Or why, they might leave for a while, but somehow find their way back to their abuser. The dynamic is so addictive. It's not as simple as acknowledging this person (or this substance) is hurting me, so I'm done. For the dynamic to truly end, lots of support, commitment, and grace from the Divine are needed. I share these personal lessons not for sympathy or kudos, but because it is not uncommon for me to be working with a client, and as we are talking, they share their own version of this dynamic. Eventually, I might disclose that I understand personally, and this insight about intermittent reinforcement. Many folks have never heard of this phenomena before, and it is like a light bulb. This knowing can also take away some of the shame and confusion. Whether you have found yourself in these shoes before, or know someone else who has, I hope this brings another layer of understanding, and compassion. If needed, I hope it also helps propel you to explore strategies that might help you get out of something if it's not healthy. You deserve love, safety, compassion, and accountability. You got this, and if you need someone in your corner, I'm here. Sarah |
Sarah Barlow
Reiki Master Teacher and Owner of Embrace Your Essence Sign up for our E-Letters Here
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