So last week I wrote about a cycle I was caught in years ago with a person in my life. This person would lash out, offer a heartfelt apology, things would be calm for a while then the cycle would repeat. 

I do genuinely believe this person felt remorse for how they showed up, and wanted to do better. I gave them the benefit of the doubt, and I saw ways that they were trying to learn, grow and heal. At the time, this was enough for me to stay. I mean, I cared deeply about this person, and they weren't always lashing out, we still had good times together. I wanted to believe that they could eventually heal, and things would get better.

Despite this, the pattern repeated itself so many times, I can't even give an estimate. It didn't stop until I chose to remove myself from the scenario.

Before I worked up the courage to leave, I heard the phrase somewhere: 

The best apology is changed behavior.

I held that idea for while, giving them a chance to do something different. Ultimately, they didn't. 

So I did what I needed to do to take care of myself, and let myself soak in the idea that I deserved to be treated better. (We all deserve this!) I left. 

Taking accountability for how we show up is a really important piece in having a healthy relationship with ourselves and others. While it usually isn't easy to make a change, getting the support that will actually help us get better is essential. 

The person in my life was making an effort, so it was easy for me to be encouraged by that. However, what I eventually realized was that all of the approaches he was trying were through self-study and reflection. He didn't seek out any third-party supports that would help him see his blind spots, and hold him accountable. As such, it was easy for him to bypass what was necessary. 

This doesn't mean that we can't make progress through self-work, we certainly can. However, sometimes we really do need outside support and perspective. There are limitations to how far we can grow alone. And, ultimately, in this situation, the efforts he was making didn't result in a change in behavior—not taking his stuff out on me.  

I invite you to reflect on this idea: the best apology is changed behavior. What comes up for you? Perhaps, you have found yourself on one or both sides of this spectrum. 

How did or could you take accountability for your part? Or how did or could you set a boundary if you need to?

Need a little help on this front? Here for you, without judgment, and proud of anyone willing to do the work that is necessary. 

Hugs,
Sarah

Do you have animal companions in your life? If so, and you are anything like me, you probably treat them as family, and would do everything you can for them. When our friends need a little extra support, it's helpful to know about Reiki for animals.

As an animal lover, I've given Reiki to all of my pets, to many friend's and clients' pets, and even injured wildlife. They, too, have an energy body, and can benefit from coming into greater balance when they need it. Reiki can support them when they've had an injury or surgery, or an ongoing health condition. It can help them deal with aches and pains as they get older. Energy healing can support them with behavioral challenges (often a result from stress or previous trauma). It can also help in their end of life transition. In short, if humans can get Reiki for something, so can our animal loves.

Every animal is a little different, and has their own comfort level. Of the pets I've had, namely cats and dogs, they've all had their own unique way of relating with Reiki.

When I was first starting my Reiki practice, I was still living with my parents and giving sessions to friends and family in my room. Every time the Reiki was flowing, their kitties Jazzy and Sophie insisted on being in the room with us, pawing at the door until I let them in. Then they would hang out peacefully in the room just soaking in the good vibes.

I had one kitty Wuya who would often come over and lay on my hands when I was giving Reiki to myself. I took that to mean she was looking for some Reiki, and would give her a treatment too. She would lean her body into my hands, and move periodically so the spots that needed attention were resting in my palms. When she was done, she'd get up, shake herself off and scamper away.

Sometimes, when my other kitties Orangie and JoJo are in my lap and I'm petting them, my Reiki will turn on of its own accord. I take this as a sign that they need a little extra attention, and I work on them until they feel done or the energy shifts. They also like to photo bomb when I'm giving Zoom sessions, so some of you may have already met these two. I find they like to hold space with me and provide extra moral support for the clients I'm working on at times. Animals can be amazing energetic guardians, and emotional support, as many of us know!

I had one dog Bleu who couldn't handle hands on Reiki. Anytime I would turn my Reiki on for her and get close to her, she'd run out of the room. However, I could give her distant Reiki and support her when she was going through bladder cancer and other issues.

Another dog I had Fluffy was very receptive to Reiki. She was a rescue that had a past of abuse and neglect. Due to these experiences, she had anxiety, PTSD, and neuromuscular issues. She was my sweet special needs dog. Fluffy was very receptive to Reiki. She loved it, and it often soothed her anxiety. Slowly but surely (along with other measures) the Reiki was helping with her neuromuscular challenges. I also did some remote shamanic work on her to dissolve some of the trauma she experienced before we adopted her, and observed notable shifts. When the time came that she was no longer doing well, and needed to be compassionately euthanized, I was able to send her distant Reiki to bring her ease, hold her in love and help her peacefully cross over.

I've also offered Reiki to clients' pets after surgery, when dealing with a health issue, or to help with the dying process. When I've gotten energetic permission, I've also sent Reiki to injured wildlife that I've come across to support them too. This has included cats, dogs, horses, birds, geese, raccoons, opossums, and more!

How this looks in action when a client asks for Reiki for their animal friend:

Schedule a remote session with me. In most cases, to help animals feel at ease, it is best to let them receive Reiki while relaxing in the comfort of their home. This also minimizes any logistical challenges of transporting our animal friend, and them being comfortable somewhere else. Also, every animal is different about their openness to receive touch (especially from a stranger). Remote work allows us to dive into the energy more efficiently and focus on the issue present rather than trying to help get the animal comfortable in order to do the work.

We would decide if we connect over Zoom, phone, or email. This would be the way that I would have the conversation with you about your animal friend. All methods are equally effective and do not impact the flow of the Reiki. If you are able, it is helpful for me to have a picture of your pet, their name, and where they are. This helps me hone in on their energy.

During the session time, we would start with a conversation about what your animal is needing support with so I can focus my intentions. You can be present with them at the time or not. It will depend on the circumstances you are currently dealing with. Reiki is flexible and we can make most things work. Once we've done the check in, I would send the Reiki to your animal focusing in on the concerns you have. After I send the Reiki, I share my observations, and you can let me know anything you may have observed about your animal friend.

Animals are often very receptive to Reiki. If you ever find one of your animal friends needs support, I'm happy to help! Email to set up a session, or book online and leave a note about your concerns.

Have your animals ever received Reiki? Maybe you're a Reiki practitioner that's given Reiki to animals. If so, comment below to share with others what your experience was like.

Blessings,
Sarah