"Is love available even here?"
As we all go about our respective activities today, I invite you to take a moment to breathe.
How are you doing?
Really. How are you?
Check in to feel/see/hear if you are being honest with yourself as you answer that. You are allowed to be experiencing whatever it is that is occurring within you. You may grant yourself permission.
When you set aside all the "shoulds", "I wish I were this, I wish he were that, I wish things were different...", the parts of you that think you have done something wrong, or are not enough, or the fears that what you are experiencing won't (or will) last, what is there?
Notice sensations in your body, emotions, and your thoughts.
On Thanksgiving, our minds shift to gratitude, which is healing in itself. But, if we are not in a space where we genuinely feel grateful, where we can't authentically access it, we feel worse. We are faking it.
So what do you genuinely feel?
Whether you feel brimming with gratitude, exhausted, grieving, content, frustrated or anywhere in between, call it what it is. Allowing the space to feel what you feel without trying to make anything different is giving yourself the gift of acceptance. As you begin to give and receive this within yourself, what do you notice?
As you go about this Thanksgiving day, I invite you to continually check in with yourself, and tune into your heart asking, "Is love available to me even here?"
If you feel inspired to share your experience with this, I would love to hear from you. Send me an email or write your comments below.
It's hard to have healthy boundaries when you step into someone else's bubble.
I was working with a friend recently who had an important (possibly emotional) conversation that she needed to have, and she asked about ways that she could set a boundary while still keeping her heart open. She had realized that she had put up such a thick wall that, while it somewhat protected her from feeling pain, it prevented her love from flowing, and really seeing her situation and those close to her with compassion. Developing this balance of honoring yourself and your needs without blocking connection can be a delicate dance, especially if you are an empath (feel other people's emotions or pain in your body).
As we began practicing ways for her to maintain a healthy boundary in different scenarios with each other, she began feeling guilty for how she was making me feel. The thing was, I actually felt just fine. Through more exploration, we realized that she was unconsciously stepping into my energy field. Because we all interpret the world through our own filter, she was sensing something that I wasn't feeling. That is how she would have felt (past experience and wounding had clogged her filter). This had been the way she was operating in other relationships, and as a result she would often be overwhelmed by what "the other person was feeling." This tendency was also making having a healthy boundary near impossible, because you cannot have a boundary when you are the one stepping in and sharing someone else's bubble. While this realization was humbling, it also made it clear what she needed to do: step or breathe herself back into her own space. Here she could be observe what was happening around her (if she chooses to), while being connected with what was occurring within her. This posture gives greater awareness of our filter (our sore spots, joys, triggers, and areas of patience), and allows us to take full responsibility for ourselves and the lives we create.
If you ever find yourself overwhelmed by what another is feeling, or becoming highly invested in how they live their life and the choices they make, I would invite you to tune in and see if you are centered within yourself or if you have stepped outside of your energy. If you need to, simply call yourself home, like you would to a loving friend.
Reiki Master Teacher and Owner of Embrace Your Essence