My compassion used to get me in trouble years ago.

I'd find myself in a scenario with someone I cared about and I knew well, and they'd be lashing out at me. Eventually the interaction would shift from dumping to apologies. They were so sorry. They were lashing out because of trauma that happened to them in the past. Then things would be calm for a while. Days would pass, and eventually the cycle would repeat. 

They weren't wrong. I could see why they were hurting, and behaving that way. That person had been cruel to them. They had been through something very difficult. It all made sense to me, and I let that be an excuse for how they would talk to me, even though it would leave me upset and discombobulated to be their dumping ground. I hoped they'd eventually find healing, and it'd get better. 

Eventually, I realized that this bounty of compassion I was extending to them, I wasn't extending to myself for being in this situation. 

Also, that this person was a grown ass adult, and capable of taking responsibility for the way they show up. By being so understanding of their wounds, and not setting the boundary that I would remove myself if they would lash out, I was enabling them to continue treating me poorly.

I did set the boundary, and because the behavior continued even after, it meant I ultimately left that relationship. Finally, I let the scales balance so I had just as much compassion (and protection) for myself as I did the other person. My compassion for them didn't go away, BUT the way I took care of myself in that situation changed.

I share this, because sometimes I hear clients recalling similar conundrums. It is a very difficult place to be. And perhaps you, or someone you know, needs to hear the words that I would become a mantra for me:

An explanation is not an excuse. 

Years later, I still stand by these words. 

I have compassion for people who are suffering, and have trauma. It is real, and painful. AND, if you are an adult, in the vast majority of situations, you have access to free and professional resources (books, podcasts, support groups, therapy, classes, etc) that can help you heal. Part of healing is taking accountability for our actions, and ensuring that we don't let that cycle continue by harming others. 

Do what you need to do to take care of yourself. Okay?

Stay tuned next week for our next slogan. ;) 

Find yourself in this scenario, or another that you can use support with? Reach out!   

In Solidarity, Humility, and Strength,
Sarah

Every week there is a new horrifying or gobsmacking event happening in the US. I try to write in ways that are relevant to current events and how to navigate them while tending to our inner world and the collective, but I don't have the capacity to respond to them every time. Now that my cued e-letters for Reiki training are up (we've postponed the start until we have more registrants, so let me know if you are interested!), I'm confronted again with what to write. 

I'm going to speak plainly today. 

If you haven't been paying attention, you need to now. 

If you listen to Fox News, it's time to find another source. They've been lying to you. 

It's time to find non-violent ways to respond, and repeat, ad nauseam. This is the necessity of these times. 

Minnesotans are brave. Resilient. Scared. Doing the thing anyway. In frigid, unsafe temperatures. I love them. I wish they didn't have to do this.

I know many of you have Minnesotans in your life. Check on them. Send them care packages. Protest in solidarity with them (there are many ICE Out protests going on around the country.) Let them know they aren't doing this alone.

Us Midwesterners are hearty folk. We've lived through the bitter cold and snow year after year. We care about our community, and that is showing in the unwillingness to submit to bullies who just want us to lay down and take it. Fuck that.

The macrocosm is the microcosm. Imagine (or remember) an abusive family system. The emotionally and physically abusive parent hurts one of the children. The other is the golden child (immune to the physical harm, but also steeped in the emotional harm in different ways). The child who is being hit says something, speaks out about the abuse. "How dare that child say anything?" thinks the abusive parent or enabler. They should just sit there and take it. The abusers thinks the child is making them hit them, because the child upset them. It would all just be better if they were quiet.

Well, that's the narrative for the US right now coming from those in positions of power.

Historians and political scientists have a world for it when it's a government: Totalitarianism.

From Britannica.com:
Totalitarianism is a form of government that attempts to assert total control over the lives of its citizens. It is characterized by strong central rule that attempts to control and direct all aspects of individual life through coercion and repression. It does not permit individual freedom. Traditional social institutions and organizations are discouraged and suppressed, making people more willing to be merged into a single unified movement. Totalitarian states typically pursue a special goal to the exclusion of all others, with all resources directed toward its attainment, regardless of the cost.

My work is all about healing and releasing trauma. This administration is generating so much trauma it brings me to tears. Sometimes I collapse on my floor, head in my hands, before I rally myself. 

Alex. Renee. A baby that stopped breathing from being teargassed. An autistic woman carried away as she was on the way to the doctor. A peaceful protestor blinded. Oglala Sioux Tribal members detained (they are the only ones who never immigrated! wtf?!?!). People of color (citizens and those here legally) profiled, harassed, detained because of how they look, how they speak, how they dress. I could go on and on.

All of these people, they need us. We need us. 

The Republican members of Congress have the power to stop this. There is still time to pressure them to rein in ICE. Congress: 202-224-3121. You don't have to have the perfect thing to say. You just need to call. Honestly, I find it rather cathartic hounding Ron Johnson. ;)

What I do believe in is the power of the people. You and me. There are more of us than there are of them. We are fed up, and this doesn't have to continue. We just have to be willing to do something about it. Stand in your power. Don't give it away to them in complacency or fear. We are stronger together. 

Voces de la Frontera has resources to support immigrants, and rally to protect them in Wisconsin. Donate, volunteer, get involved. We need to be ready.

Monarcha is the rapid response line in Minnesota. They need our support. 

Keep an eye on the 287g program, and speak up! This gives municipalities federal money for local law enforcement to collaborate with ICE. Because they've been deputized in this way, essentially any police officers in participating counties are also effectively ICE agents. They often also have beds reserved in their jails for detainees. There are numerous counties in Wisconsin that are currently participating at the time of this writing: Brown, Calumet, Fond du Lac, Kenosha, Kewaunee, Kewaunee, Manitowoc, Marathon, Marquette, Outagamie, Sauk, Sheboygan, Washington, Waukesha, Waushara, Winnebago, and Wood Counties Sheriffs' Offices, and the Palmyra Police Department. This is also reversible! So if you live in one of those counties, speak up and say you do not want your police department participating!

Know that I'm doing what I can to stand with you in this. I've been standing up to bullies since 1987. Standing up to these bullies has become my new hobby.

If you need help regulating your nervous system, or finding moments to recharge to keep doing the thing, I'm here. 

I'm also wanting to offer Reiki to immigrants and those being harmed by this administration. If you would like to donate funds to help sponsor folks, or donate your own Reiki skills to help, let me know. Hopefully, our little bits of effort will lessen some of the long lasting impacts of this harm. 

Keep showing up.

Love ya'll and stay safe out there,

Sarah

Do you have animal companions in your life? If so, and you are anything like me, you probably treat them as family, and would do everything you can for them. When our friends need a little extra support, it's helpful to know about Reiki for animals.

As an animal lover, I've given Reiki to all of my pets, to many friend's and clients' pets, and even injured wildlife. They, too, have an energy body, and can benefit from coming into greater balance when they need it. Reiki can support them when they've had an injury or surgery, or an ongoing health condition. It can help them deal with aches and pains as they get older. Energy healing can support them with behavioral challenges (often a result from stress or previous trauma). It can also help in their end of life transition. In short, if humans can get Reiki for something, so can our animal loves.

Every animal is a little different, and has their own comfort level. Of the pets I've had, namely cats and dogs, they've all had their own unique way of relating with Reiki.

When I was first starting my Reiki practice, I was still living with my parents and giving sessions to friends and family in my room. Every time the Reiki was flowing, their kitties Jazzy and Sophie insisted on being in the room with us, pawing at the door until I let them in. Then they would hang out peacefully in the room just soaking in the good vibes.

I had one kitty Wuya who would often come over and lay on my hands when I was giving Reiki to myself. I took that to mean she was looking for some Reiki, and would give her a treatment too. She would lean her body into my hands, and move periodically so the spots that needed attention were resting in my palms. When she was done, she'd get up, shake herself off and scamper away.

Sometimes, when my other kitties Orangie and JoJo are in my lap and I'm petting them, my Reiki will turn on of its own accord. I take this as a sign that they need a little extra attention, and I work on them until they feel done or the energy shifts. They also like to photo bomb when I'm giving Zoom sessions, so some of you may have already met these two. I find they like to hold space with me and provide extra moral support for the clients I'm working on at times. Animals can be amazing energetic guardians, and emotional support, as many of us know!

I had one dog Bleu who couldn't handle hands on Reiki. Anytime I would turn my Reiki on for her and get close to her, she'd run out of the room. However, I could give her distant Reiki and support her when she was going through bladder cancer and other issues.

Another dog I had Fluffy was very receptive to Reiki. She was a rescue that had a past of abuse and neglect. Due to these experiences, she had anxiety, PTSD, and neuromuscular issues. She was my sweet special needs dog. Fluffy was very receptive to Reiki. She loved it, and it often soothed her anxiety. Slowly but surely (along with other measures) the Reiki was helping with her neuromuscular challenges. I also did some remote shamanic work on her to dissolve some of the trauma she experienced before we adopted her, and observed notable shifts. When the time came that she was no longer doing well, and needed to be compassionately euthanized, I was able to send her distant Reiki to bring her ease, hold her in love and help her peacefully cross over.

I've also offered Reiki to clients' pets after surgery, when dealing with a health issue, or to help with the dying process. When I've gotten energetic permission, I've also sent Reiki to injured wildlife that I've come across to support them too. This has included cats, dogs, horses, birds, geese, raccoons, opossums, and more!

How this looks in action when a client asks for Reiki for their animal friend:

Schedule a remote session with me. In most cases, to help animals feel at ease, it is best to let them receive Reiki while relaxing in the comfort of their home. This also minimizes any logistical challenges of transporting our animal friend, and them being comfortable somewhere else. Also, every animal is different about their openness to receive touch (especially from a stranger). Remote work allows us to dive into the energy more efficiently and focus on the issue present rather than trying to help get the animal comfortable in order to do the work.

We would decide if we connect over Zoom, phone, or email. This would be the way that I would have the conversation with you about your animal friend. All methods are equally effective and do not impact the flow of the Reiki. If you are able, it is helpful for me to have a picture of your pet, their name, and where they are. This helps me hone in on their energy.

During the session time, we would start with a conversation about what your animal is needing support with so I can focus my intentions. You can be present with them at the time or not. It will depend on the circumstances you are currently dealing with. Reiki is flexible and we can make most things work. Once we've done the check in, I would send the Reiki to your animal focusing in on the concerns you have. After I send the Reiki, I share my observations, and you can let me know anything you may have observed about your animal friend.

Animals are often very receptive to Reiki. If you ever find one of your animal friends needs support, I'm happy to help! Email to set up a session, or book online and leave a note about your concerns.

Have your animals ever received Reiki? Maybe you're a Reiki practitioner that's given Reiki to animals. If so, comment below to share with others what your experience was like.

Blessings,
Sarah

Happy Spring Equinox,

Today, we find the light is balanced with the dark. Here, in the Northern Hemisphere we are going to get to enjoy more and more daylight until the Solstice in June.

I've been reflecting a lot lately about how we've just lived through three years of the Covid era. My conversations with clients and others have shown that this has felt like a bit of a time warp. It's hard for many of us to take in that this lasted three years, yet we also experienced moments that felt like an eternity or a standstill. My life changed in so many ways, and I can imagine that may be true for you too.

I noticed that in the earlier days of the pandemic there were several voices telling us to be aware that we were moving through a collective trauma. As such, we should be mindful, gentle and forgiving with ourselves. To adjust our expectations of ourselves, because we were doing the best we could in survival mode. Perhaps, it's just me and the information that I consume, but it seemed to me that message petered out at some point, though we all continued to live through this experience. I think many of us just got tired, and were doing the best we could to get through.

In case you need to hear this today, I want to remind you that the last three years were not business as usual. As things settle, and the light returns, continue to be gentle with yourself. It may take some time to make sense of what we all just lived through collectively, and, of course, what you experienced personally. (I'm waiting for the Ken Burns documentary! ;) ) If you feel tender, or cautious, or just ready to get on with it, I hear you! Allow space for what's there. Be kind to yourself. Try to be kind to others who are relearning what it's like to live again.

Make space to bring with you the wisdom that you've gleaned during this time, and permission to shed the stress and dysregulation that may have come with it. If you feel called, share with our community what wisdom you are bringing with you, or perhaps what you are most looking forward to or hopeful about as the light returns in the comments below.

Wishing you all a gentle, easeful transition into the spring.

Big hugs,
Sarah

Hey Friends,

The days are growing darker, the veil is growing thinner. We have entered a time of inward turning here in the Northern Hemisphere. The advancing quiet welcomes our reflection, and often provides the right conditions for subtitles to bubble up from our subconscious.

Our modern Western celebration of Halloween plays with ghouls, goblins and spectres, while offering us a sugar high to face them all. While this can bring fun and fancy, we can choose to explore the theme of these celebrations in relation to our own healing to take them deeper.

(Note: If you've been finding yourself in an activated fight/flight response you may want to skip this reflective practice. Continue reading at the bold text.)

So, dear one, what fears lay present within you? 

Oh boy, did you notice yourself contracting or resisting at all to that question? Perhaps that is your body's response trying to protect you from seeing these fears. I invite you to breathe with me, remind yourself that you are safe, and invite the presence of light and compassion to be with you.

What fear wants to be witnessed by you in this moment? Maybe you write it down. Continue to breathe, and observe it with curiosity. Just like with the quintessential boogie man in the closet that we realize is a coat once we've opened the door and turned on the light, so too, may we feel relief when we hold our fears with brave, loving, compassionate interest. We realize things aren't always as they seem. Some of our fears will boil down to these distortions of reality that need gentle correction.

Others may be of another variety, revealing the fragility of the human experience. Things that we may likely or inevitability face at some point: a fear of loss, pain, death, rejection, etc. These things we can run from, pretend that they are not there, or do whatever we can to try to prevent them from happening. Of course, we would do that. These fears and potential realities can be difficult, and scary. We are trying to protect ourselves. But, what if, for this moment, with me and all the other readers here with you, we breathe and acknowledge this fear and how it feels in your body. In truth, we may not ever be able to stop or change some of these fears from happening. But, we can be with our vulnerabilities with compassion. We can know that this is part of the human experience, and each of us is not alone. There are so many people out in the globe who hold this same fear. Though that doesn't take it away, somehow, for me, I find this shared humanness can be a balm for the experience.

When facing these types of "inevitable" fears, I try to remind myself of my own resilience, and tools. That no matter what I might face in the future that I have the ability to move through that experience, and ask for help if I need it. I remind myself of the times that I have faced my fears, whether by choice or life dragging me through them. I see that those experiences I've survived, and perhaps I've gained greater wisdom or tools as a result.

Sometimes though, working with our fear is something we need to do in a safe, supportive environment. We might need to untangle stored trauma in our bodies to release us from the fight/flight response. Soothing our nervous system, and coming to a place of regulation is key. If this resonates, you might find Reiki, or working with a skilled trauma-informed practitioner supportive.

No matter how you might find yourself today, remember you are not alone, you matter, and there are loving forces in the universe out there to support you, you just have to ask.

Feeling brave? Want to share with us one of your fears, or how you are feeling after sitting compassionately with them? Let us know in the comments.

Sending lots of love,
Sarah

P.S. Reach out if you need support! :)