Every week there is a new horrifying or gobsmacking event happening in the US. I try to write in ways that are relevant to current events and how to navigate them while tending to our inner world and the collective, but I don't have the capacity to respond to them every time. Now that my cued e-letters for Reiki training are up (we've postponed the start until we have more registrants, so let me know if you are interested!), I'm confronted again with what to write. 

I'm going to speak plainly today. 

If you haven't been paying attention, you need to now. 

If you listen to Fox News, it's time to find another source. They've been lying to you. 

It's time to find non-violent ways to respond, and repeat, ad nauseam. This is the necessity of these times. 

Minnesotans are brave. Resilient. Scared. Doing the thing anyway. In frigid, unsafe temperatures. I love them. I wish they didn't have to do this.

I know many of you have Minnesotans in your life. Check on them. Send them care packages. Protest in solidarity with them (there are many ICE Out protests going on around the country.) Let them know they aren't doing this alone.

Us Midwesterners are hearty folk. We've lived through the bitter cold and snow year after year. We care about our community, and that is showing in the unwillingness to submit to bullies who just want us to lay down and take it. Fuck that.

The macrocosm is the microcosm. Imagine (or remember) an abusive family system. The emotionally and physically abusive parent hurts one of the children. The other is the golden child (immune to the physical harm, but also steeped in the emotional harm in different ways). The child who is being hit says something, speaks out about the abuse. "How dare that child say anything?" thinks the abusive parent or enabler. They should just sit there and take it. The abusers thinks the child is making them hit them, because the child upset them. It would all just be better if they were quiet.

Well, that's the narrative for the US right now coming from those in positions of power.

Historians and political scientists have a world for it when it's a government: Totalitarianism.

From Britannica.com:
Totalitarianism is a form of government that attempts to assert total control over the lives of its citizens. It is characterized by strong central rule that attempts to control and direct all aspects of individual life through coercion and repression. It does not permit individual freedom. Traditional social institutions and organizations are discouraged and suppressed, making people more willing to be merged into a single unified movement. Totalitarian states typically pursue a special goal to the exclusion of all others, with all resources directed toward its attainment, regardless of the cost.

My work is all about healing and releasing trauma. This administration is generating so much trauma it brings me to tears. Sometimes I collapse on my floor, head in my hands, before I rally myself. 

Alex. Renee. A baby that stopped breathing from being teargassed. An autistic woman carried away as she was on the way to the doctor. A peaceful protestor blinded. Oglala Sioux Tribal members detained (they are the only ones who never immigrated! wtf?!?!). People of color (citizens and those here legally) profiled, harassed, detained because of how they look, how they speak, how they dress. I could go on and on.

All of these people, they need us. We need us. 

The Republican members of Congress have the power to stop this. There is still time to pressure them to rein in ICE. Congress: 202-224-3121. You don't have to have the perfect thing to say. You just need to call. Honestly, I find it rather cathartic hounding Ron Johnson. ;)

What I do believe in is the power of the people. You and me. There are more of us than there are of them. We are fed up, and this doesn't have to continue. We just have to be willing to do something about it. Stand in your power. Don't give it away to them in complacency or fear. We are stronger together. 

Voces de la Frontera has resources to support immigrants, and rally to protect them in Wisconsin. Donate, volunteer, get involved. We need to be ready.

Monarcha is the rapid response line in Minnesota. They need our support. 

Keep an eye on the 287g program, and speak up! This gives municipalities federal money for local law enforcement to collaborate with ICE. Because they've been deputized in this way, essentially any police officers in participating counties are also effectively ICE agents. They often also have beds reserved in their jails for detainees. There are numerous counties in Wisconsin that are currently participating at the time of this writing: Brown, Calumet, Fond du Lac, Kenosha, Kewaunee, Kewaunee, Manitowoc, Marathon, Marquette, Outagamie, Sauk, Sheboygan, Washington, Waukesha, Waushara, Winnebago, and Wood Counties Sheriffs' Offices, and the Palmyra Police Department. This is also reversible! So if you live in one of those counties, speak up and say you do not want your police department participating!

Know that I'm doing what I can to stand with you in this. I've been standing up to bullies since 1987. Standing up to these bullies has become my new hobby.

If you need help regulating your nervous system, or finding moments to recharge to keep doing the thing, I'm here. 

I'm also wanting to offer Reiki to immigrants and those being harmed by this administration. If you would like to donate funds to help sponsor folks, or donate your own Reiki skills to help, let me know. Hopefully, our little bits of effort will lessen some of the long lasting impacts of this harm. 

Keep showing up.

Love ya'll and stay safe out there,

Sarah

Hello Friends,

"It's a good life, honey, if you don't grow weary." This chorus from an Alexa Woodward song has been running over and over in my mind the last few weeks. Perhaps, my inner coach is encouraging me to keep going during these trying times. We've been living in the pandemic era for over six months now, and so much of the shadow side of our society has come up to the surface. We have been confronted with the opportunity to face the unsustainable, the orphans, the bullies. Doing the work to heal and shift into integrity takes attention and presence. Two things, that as we move through these collective traumas, can take even more effort to access. It is also clear that we need to think of the long game. The coronavirus, and systemic racism are not going to vanish overnight. But how do we keep learning, and doing the work that needs to be done without burning out? Have you been feeling weary? My intent today is to explore ways that we can nourish ourselves so we can continue to do what we need to personally and collectively to move through these times while staying sane and connected to our hearts.

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Before we get to our regularly scheduled programming, I feel urged to call out what I saw on Tuesday evening while watching the presidential debates. Speaking of weariness, I know many of us are tired of what we have been experiencing. So perhaps, before reading on, take a few deep breaths, allow yourself to feel what is present within you, and offer yourself some compassion. These are trying times. The behavior of our commander-in-chief, was that of a cornered narcissist lashing out trying to regain ground and control. Coming to identify the behaviors of narcissism is something we explore in my Empowered Empath series, as there is a common tendency for empaths and narcissists to be drawn together, and recognizing what is going on, and how to not get tangled in the dynamics is important for staying healthy and sane. So for those of you who are not already familiar with narcissism, how it shows up, and how to protect yourself here are a few points.
Narcissism is a trait that exists on a spectrum. In those where it is dominant, we see these key characteristics: the desire for power and control over others; a lack of respect for other's autonomy, and who they really are; a fabricated illusion of grandeur to compensate for a sense of hollowness within; a severe lacking of empathy for others. Another term that is used for narcissists and other challenging personality types is "energy vampires," as these people "feed" on the energy of others to sustain themselves. In their woundedness (likely from early life) they have not learned how to maintain their energy on their own, while respecting others' sovereignty, so narcissists rely on others for "narcissistic supply." This can be other's admiration, bolstering of their ego, attention, even "getting another's goat," so to speak, and feeding off of their anger, and fear.

There are many different types of narcissists, but in Trump we see the type that is most often associated with the term, a grandiose or overt narcissist. Narcissists are highly manipulative, and we saw many of those techniques in Tuesday's debate. Expert gaslighting: distorting facts in an attempt to control the narrative and reality of others. The intent of gaslighting is to instill so much doubt in others that they question their reality, and turn to the gaslighter as their new authority on reality. When they are successful, the illusion of grandeur or perfection surrounding the narcissist is so thick that we deny anything we see to the contrary. When that happens we've bitten the hook. We see this in the way Trump tries to control the narrative around his handling of Covid-19, despite our experiences to the contrary. The incessant interrupting was also an overwhelming attempt to dominate and steamroll, not only Biden, but the moderator, as well, to have control. Narcissists go for the low blow. They stockpile information against you, and throw it out as zingers when they think your defenses are down or you're most vulnerable. We saw this in his callous remarks about Biden's sons, and without any regard or compassion for the loss of Biden's son Beau.

We are not dealing with the average human being that we can reason with, have a discussion with an intent to find common ground, and compromise for solutions. Narcissists who are not getting help (the vast majority don't because they are in denial that they need support) cannot meet you in the middle. Their agenda of control will always be on the forefront of their mind. If they feel like they are starting to lose that control or narcissistic supply, they will double down. That is what we are seeing right now.

I could go on... but I will say if you were feeling drained, angry, upset, etc. after watching the debate, that is because what we witnessed was not healthy. As a country we have been in an abusive relationship with this president, and what unfolded on Tuesday was one verbally and energetically violent episode. If you have had narcissists or abuse in your life you may have felt particularly triggered after that event. If this is you, remember to have compassion for yourself, and hopefully there will be something useful for you in the later part of this article. Please seek out support if you are needing it.

A few points that I share with my empath students to safely and sanely navigate these dynamics:

• Practice discernment. See clearly what is going on, call out distortion, and lies. Trust facts, and your inner authority.
• Don't fall prey to fear. Trump is using intimidation so that we do not trust our system or our own individual and collective power. Stand in your power, and use your voice to vote.
• Practice energetic boundaries. If you have taken on some of this toxic energy breathe it out and to the Earth to be transmuted into neutral or life-giving energy. Breathe in deeply and fill your energy field with light, and compassion. Imagine yourself surrounded by a bubble that filters out low vibrational energy.

Still figuring out your plan for voting?
In Wisconsin, there is still time to register to vote absentee, or early. All the information Wisconsinites need is here: MyVoteWisconsin (One of the things I love is that if you vote absentee, they give you the ability to track your ballot to make sure it is received.)In another state and want to vote early, or absentee? Find all the details at Better Know A Ballot.

For registration and all other voter information visit: Vote.gov


Your Voice Matters!

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Okay, now onto the good stuff: nourishment and dispelling weariness.


Let's take another moment to pause, close our eyes, and breathe. Allow space for whatever might be coming up in you physically or emotionally. Whatever you are experiencing is just energy and information. As we practice sitting with it as we breathe, and offer compassionate witnessing, healing begins to happen. Stay with this as long as you need to.

Now, reflect upon what has been working well for you over the last several months. (I've created this worksheet for your ease in following this exercise if you like.) What has brought joy, comfort, relief, and constructive outlets for you as we move through these times? Maybe you are going for regular walks, having virtual game nights with friends and family, making tasty meals, writing poetry, meditating, puttering in the garden, napping, or snuggling with your pets or children. What new or old habits have been helping you sustain? Make a list of what has been filling your cup, how often you have been able to participate in those activities, and star the ones that have been particularly impactful. Now considering one activity at a time, with the changing of the seasons, is there anything that can, or needs to be tweaked so you can continue to enjoy it into the cooler months? Allow this to be a time for your creativity to emerge. If you can't find a solution for how to adapt a certain outlet, make note of it, and what needs it has been meeting for you (connection, movement, play, rest, support, learning, hope, inspiration, etc.).

Now, are there any new activities that you could incorporate to replace any that you will no longer be able to do? Focus on the needs that were being met, and brainstorm what other ways you might be able to meet those needs. For instance, if you were gardening and it was helping you feel grounded and inspired by beauty, maybe you could dream and plan for your garden next year, learn about the plants and wildlife in your area, study ways that you can preserve food, do grounding meditations, or paint picturesque landscapes. Perhaps there are some needs you haven't been able to meet at all during this time. What are they, and how could you prioritize them?

There may be things that have been bogging you down that you need to let go of. For example, obligations to relationships that are draining or not reciprocal, guilt about resting or taking care of yourself, or habits that keep you busy or distract that don't actually nourish you. Ask yourself, what don't I have to do? What can I let go of?

Sit with your list. Star your highest priorities to maintain, integrate, or release. Then narrow it down to 1-3 that you can focus on in the next couple months to support your well-being.

What did you come up with? Share with us in the comments .


Take good care of yourselves!

Much love,
Sarah