If you are an outdoor adventurer or spent any time around them, you've probably heard the term Type II Fun. In this world, there is the idea that there are three types of fun:

Type I: Is actually fun and enjoyable in the moment. You are soaking in the goodness and don't want it to end. Tasty tacos. Peacefully floating along a calm river, game night with friends.

Type II: Is difficult or uncomfortable in the moment. It might require some grit and fortitude. But on the other side, or at the peak, there is joy, elation, accomplishment. The gratitude for moving through challenge to reap the reward. Running a marathon. Hiking a steep mountain to a beautiful view. Waking up in the middle of the night for an infant.

Type III: Is not fun during or after. It's one of those "why did I do that?" experiences. Was that even worth it? Regretting life choices type of experiences. 

Healing work sometimes feels like Type I fun. We get to bliss out and feel the peace and relief of receiving care and woes melting away. 

Other times, healing work is Type II fun. It is not always pleasant to face the literal and invisible pains we've endured in life, and didn't have the capacity to process at the time. Like cleaning out a grubby bathroom, it might be a little gross, and we don't want to do it. Can someone else do this? (I wish.) It will take a little patience, and willingness to get dirty. But on the other side it feels so much better. We're so glad we did it. 

If you find yourself in a Type II fun type moment in your journey. Take a moment, catch your breath if you need to. Rally your team, and carry onward. The view at the top is spectacular! Then it's all downhill, til it's not. ;)

You got this! 
 
Sarah

We live our life in spirals.

Have you heard that saying that talks about revisiting life lessons over time, and refining our wisdom and healing? Hopefully tapping into deeper truths and getting closer to the core of things with each revisiting of that arc in the path. 

I've consciously been on my own personal healing journey for nearly two decades, and I've been thinking of this idea a lot lately. I've done loads of work of myself, and made lots of progress. Woot! And... I'm still human. Still areas of my being that can use some extra tending. 

Holding all that in my heart the other day, I was sitting at my dad's memorial bench, reflecting on a conversation I had with my therapist. I felt a conviction within myself. Though somewhat discouraged to still be working on this thing, I was determined to recommit to myself and my journey as I prepare to round that curve in the bend again.

I wrote a decree. 

I committed to spending at least a few minutes everyday engaged in my spiritual practice and connecting with this part of me that needs tending. I am going to do this everyday at least until my 40th birthday. (I turn 39 this week, so that'll be more than a year of dedicated practice.)

No excuses. Do or do not. There is no try. 

I matter to me. I'm worth it. 

I printed the decree. Signed it. Hung it on my wall. A reminder. 

At time of this writing, I've been engaged in this practice for a few weeks. I can already feel a difference. I'm imagining how my inner landscape will have evolved in a year. Time will tell. 

Walking with you,
Sarah


P.S. Call me, beep me, if you wanna to reach me.

When we are caught up in struggle, not really getting anywhere, it is a painful place to be. Some choose to stay in this place for a long, or indefinite time, becoming resigned to the soup they are in, perhaps even identifying as a victim. 

When a glimmer flickers within, and something shifts—a desire for change, a willingness to reach out for help—a powerful and essential thing happens. This is the key moment that this person takes agency for their life. Without claiming responsibility for our life, healing and growth can be fleeting. We can be at the mercy of others, and the winds around us. 

The moment we choose to step into our power, saying "I'm willing do to something about xyz in my life, because enough is enough, and I matter," we begin responding to the situations in our life, rather than reacting. It's as if we go from having a ship without a captain, to finally stepping up to the helm. We start deciding how we are going to navigate the storms and winds, rather than being beat around endlessly by them. This doesn't mean it's easy, especially at first, but we are more likely to get where we hope to go by setting a direction, rather than letting ourselves drift or sink at the whims of the elements. 

Perhaps, you remember a moment in your life when you went from being adrift to stepping up. What was that like for you? Did it feel like a turning point?

If we are already charting our own course, sometimes it's hard when we see other people in our life who are resigned, and not taking ownership of their life. Sometimes there's a compulsion to tow them along behind us, or hop over and try to steer their ship for them (would this make us well-meaning pirates? ;) ). But it's hard to steer two ships at once, and it really doesn't teach them the skills and confidence to navigate their own life.

Occasionally, I feel this impulse, because I'm a recovering helper, you know. My guides remind me, "Who are you to steal this pivotal moment from them in choosing to take responsibility for their life?" If I just tow them around, they'll most likely just want to take a nap, and let me continue. I'll get tired and resentful, and they won't actually learn the thing.

Claiming agency for our life, responsibilities, and problems isn't the only step, but it's the first essential one. 

Are you ready to step into your power and ask for help? 

I gotchu. I believe in you.
Sarah

If you have been around me for a while, you probably know that I am a loving and devoted a cat lady to my two handsome fellas Orangie and JoJo. So much so, I even embraced my quirkiness and held a 10 Years of Gotcha party last year. 

So, when I realized that Monsieur Fluffermuffin Orangie, who is becoming mature in age, is starting to have some kidney and digestive troubles, I started diligently trying to find ways to help him stay as healthy and happy as possible. Naturally, I've been working with my vet to explore various options to help him.  

I've been aiming to give Orangie more Reiki than usual to try to help him. His energy had been a bit less, and appetite there, but not the best. 

I'd done Reiki for him a few nights one week, then gave him a particularly long distant Reiki sesh one night. He was sleeping under my bed, and I laid on the couch using my beanie baby proxy to work on his intestines and kidneys. I could feel a lot shifting. 

The next morning, Orangie was waking me up by getting into things (he had a habit of that before), he looked chipper and bright, his appetite was ravenous, and, oh, the zoomies! He was chasing his brother around like a little fiend. 

I was very encouraged to see how much that distant Reiki helped him. 

I'm hoping that with continued sessions like that, and following vet recommendations that he'll have many more years as a happy kitty. 

This is just one example of a day-to-day way that practicing Reiki can be a supportive force in your life. (And, clearly not a placebo effect, since he wouldn't have known otherwise I was giving him Reiki, and he's a cat!)

Perhaps, you'd like to learn Reiki to be able to offer to your loved ones in need? Reiki I starts June 27th, and registration closes on the 19th.

Or, maybe you have a pet that could also benefit from some healing work! I'd be happy to do a remote session for them too! 

Or, maybe you're just a mere mortal with troubles of your own, and you want some support. 

I gotchu,

Sarah

I've been writing a lot lately about an unhealthy relationship dynamic I was in years ago. See my posts: An Explanation is Not an Excuse, and The Best Apology. What can I say, I'm inspired! ;) I garnered a lot of hard-fought wisdom from that relationship, and the juices are flowing now that I opened the gates. Can you relate? If so, hugs.

If you missed those posts, the essence is I participated in a dynamic that would feel fine for a while. Then, tick, tick, tick, boom! Lash out. Apologies, contrition. Things calm for a while, repeat. 

This person was dear to me. We would laugh and have deep conversations. But the smallest thing I would do could also set this person off. Sometimes they would imbibe a little to much, and the scales would tip. They would treat me as if I was their mortal enemy, and not someone dear to them. 

I never really knew which side of this person I was going to get. Would I get the person I loved, and had fun with, or the one that would lacerate me with their words? Sometimes I could predict what was coming, other times it would take me off guard. 

After many years of this dynamic, information finally soaked into my consciousness that would help me, once and for all, break the cycle. I was listening to a YouTube video about trauma bonds from Put the Shovel Down, a channel about helping people get into recovery from addiction. 

It explained how the unpredictable highs and lows of some relationships, can make them addictive. Not knowing what side of someone is going to show up is a bit of a gamble. Especially when there are good experiences mixed in there, you're always hoping for that. You never fully let go of the potential that this might happen, even when you get hurt by the alternative. 

The term for this is intermittent reinforcement. 

It's what makes it so hard to leave a relationship that isn't good for you. It might be good sometimes, even though it's really bad at other times. Or, maybe it's mostly bad now, but it was really good in the beginning, and you keep hoping for that euphoria to come back, maybe this time. 

What helped me leave was acknowledging that if I wanted this person to get into recovery, so did I. Viewing myself as addicted to that relationship, sobered me up to do the really hard thing. I left, and knew it might be as hard as anyone else who was trying to get clean, but I was committed to getting better. 

This is one of the reasons why is it difficult for so many people to truly leave abusive relationships. Or why, they might leave for a while, but somehow find their way back to their abuser. The dynamic is so addictive. It's not as simple as acknowledging this person (or this substance) is hurting me, so I'm done. For the dynamic to truly end, lots of support, commitment, and grace from the Divine are needed. 

I share these personal lessons not for sympathy or kudos, but because it is not uncommon for me to be working with a client, and as we are talking, they share their own version of this dynamic. 

Eventually, I might disclose that I understand personally, and this insight about intermittent reinforcement. Many folks have never heard of this phenomena before, and it is like a light bulb. This knowing can also take away some of the shame and confusion.

Whether you have found yourself in these shoes before, or know someone else who has, I hope this brings another layer of understanding, and compassion. If needed, I hope it also helps propel you to explore strategies that might help you get out of something if it's not healthy. You deserve love, safety, compassion, and accountability.

You got this, and if you need someone in your corner, I'm here. 

Sarah

It's Earth Day this Wednesday April 22nd, and Arbor Day follows on Friday the 24th. This is a great time to deepen your connection with the Earth and the land around you. We are in relationship with all the living beings around us, and we rely on the earth for our needs. 

What is one way that you can cultivate a loving relationship with the Earth this week? 

Some ideas:

• Tend your garden or plant some seeds
• Pick up litter in your neighborhood
• Leave an offering of herbs for the land where you live. Whispering blessings and gratitude into them before you sprinkle them on the land.
• Rethink your consumption habits (start composting, buy in bulk, repurpose an item, thrift, etc)
• Advocate for the lands and creatures that don't have a voice. Call your reps. Get involved in or donate to environmental nonprofits that are working to protect the land and beings we share the earth with.
• Go on a walk and just enjoy the nature around you. 

As you do whatever calls to you, I invite you to notice the Earth as a vibrant living being. She knows you, and responds, we just have to notice and cultivate that relationship. We are nature. We are not separate. 

Have fun, and delight in what you experience. 

Your Neighborhood Hippie, ;)
Sarah


P.S. Looking for a session? I still have a few openings this week:

• Wed April 22nd: 10:00, 2:30 (CST)
• Thurs April 23rd: 1:00 (remote only)
• Fri April 24th: at 1:00, 4:00
  

P.P.S. The next round of Reiki training starts June 27th. Perhaps you'd like to join us?

So last week I wrote about a cycle I was caught in years ago with a person in my life. This person would lash out, offer a heartfelt apology, things would be calm for a while then the cycle would repeat. 

I do genuinely believe this person felt remorse for how they showed up, and wanted to do better. I gave them the benefit of the doubt, and I saw ways that they were trying to learn, grow and heal. At the time, this was enough for me to stay. I mean, I cared deeply about this person, and they weren't always lashing out, we still had good times together. I wanted to believe that they could eventually heal, and things would get better.

Despite this, the pattern repeated itself so many times, I can't even give an estimate. It didn't stop until I chose to remove myself from the scenario.

Before I worked up the courage to leave, I heard the phrase somewhere: 

The best apology is changed behavior.

I held that idea for while, giving them a chance to do something different. Ultimately, they didn't. 

So I did what I needed to do to take care of myself, and let myself soak in the idea that I deserved to be treated better. (We all deserve this!) I left. 

Taking accountability for how we show up is a really important piece in having a healthy relationship with ourselves and others. While it usually isn't easy to make a change, getting the support that will actually help us get better is essential. 

The person in my life was making an effort, so it was easy for me to be encouraged by that. However, what I eventually realized was that all of the approaches he was trying were through self-study and reflection. He didn't seek out any third-party supports that would help him see his blind spots, and hold him accountable. As such, it was easy for him to bypass what was necessary. 

This doesn't mean that we can't make progress through self-work, we certainly can. However, sometimes we really do need outside support and perspective. There are limitations to how far we can grow alone. And, ultimately, in this situation, the efforts he was making didn't result in a change in behavior—not taking his stuff out on me.  

I invite you to reflect on this idea: the best apology is changed behavior. What comes up for you? Perhaps, you have found yourself on one or both sides of this spectrum. 

How did or could you take accountability for your part? Or how did or could you set a boundary if you need to?

Need a little help on this front? Here for you, without judgment, and proud of anyone willing to do the work that is necessary. 

Hugs,
Sarah

My compassion used to get me in trouble years ago.

I'd find myself in a scenario with someone I cared about and I knew well, and they'd be lashing out at me. Eventually the interaction would shift from dumping to apologies. They were so sorry. They were lashing out because of trauma that happened to them in the past. Then things would be calm for a while. Days would pass, and eventually the cycle would repeat. 

They weren't wrong. I could see why they were hurting, and behaving that way. That person had been cruel to them. They had been through something very difficult. It all made sense to me, and I let that be an excuse for how they would talk to me, even though it would leave me upset and discombobulated to be their dumping ground. I hoped they'd eventually find healing, and it'd get better. 

Eventually, I realized that this bounty of compassion I was extending to them, I wasn't extending to myself for being in this situation. 

Also, that this person was a grown ass adult, and capable of taking responsibility for the way they show up. By being so understanding of their wounds, and not setting the boundary that I would remove myself if they would lash out, I was enabling them to continue treating me poorly.

I did set the boundary, and because the behavior continued even after, it meant I ultimately left that relationship. Finally, I let the scales balance so I had just as much compassion (and protection) for myself as I did the other person. My compassion for them didn't go away, BUT the way I took care of myself in that situation changed.

I share this, because sometimes I hear clients recalling similar conundrums. It is a very difficult place to be. And perhaps you, or someone you know, needs to hear the words that I would become a mantra for me:

An explanation is not an excuse. 

Years later, I still stand by these words. 

I have compassion for people who are suffering, and have trauma. It is real, and painful. AND, if you are an adult, in the vast majority of situations, you have access to free and professional resources (books, podcasts, support groups, therapy, classes, etc) that can help you heal. Part of healing is taking accountability for our actions, and ensuring that we don't let that cycle continue by harming others. 

Do what you need to do to take care of yourself. Okay?

Stay tuned next week for our next slogan. ;) 

Find yourself in this scenario, or another that you can use support with? Reach out!   

In Solidarity, Humility, and Strength,
Sarah

Every week there is a new horrifying or gobsmacking event happening in the US. I try to write in ways that are relevant to current events and how to navigate them while tending to our inner world and the collective, but I don't have the capacity to respond to them every time. Now that my cued e-letters for Reiki training are up (we've postponed the start until we have more registrants, so let me know if you are interested!), I'm confronted again with what to write. 

I'm going to speak plainly today. 

If you haven't been paying attention, you need to now. 

If you listen to Fox News, it's time to find another source. They've been lying to you. 

It's time to find non-violent ways to respond, and repeat, ad nauseam. This is the necessity of these times. 

Minnesotans are brave. Resilient. Scared. Doing the thing anyway. In frigid, unsafe temperatures. I love them. I wish they didn't have to do this.

I know many of you have Minnesotans in your life. Check on them. Send them care packages. Protest in solidarity with them (there are many ICE Out protests going on around the country.) Let them know they aren't doing this alone.

Us Midwesterners are hearty folk. We've lived through the bitter cold and snow year after year. We care about our community, and that is showing in the unwillingness to submit to bullies who just want us to lay down and take it. Fuck that.

The macrocosm is the microcosm. Imagine (or remember) an abusive family system. The emotionally and physically abusive parent hurts one of the children. The other is the golden child (immune to the physical harm, but also steeped in the emotional harm in different ways). The child who is being hit says something, speaks out about the abuse. "How dare that child say anything?" thinks the abusive parent or enabler. They should just sit there and take it. The abusers thinks the child is making them hit them, because the child upset them. It would all just be better if they were quiet.

Well, that's the narrative for the US right now coming from those in positions of power.

Historians and political scientists have a world for it when it's a government: Totalitarianism.

From Britannica.com:
Totalitarianism is a form of government that attempts to assert total control over the lives of its citizens. It is characterized by strong central rule that attempts to control and direct all aspects of individual life through coercion and repression. It does not permit individual freedom. Traditional social institutions and organizations are discouraged and suppressed, making people more willing to be merged into a single unified movement. Totalitarian states typically pursue a special goal to the exclusion of all others, with all resources directed toward its attainment, regardless of the cost.

My work is all about healing and releasing trauma. This administration is generating so much trauma it brings me to tears. Sometimes I collapse on my floor, head in my hands, before I rally myself. 

Alex. Renee. A baby that stopped breathing from being teargassed. An autistic woman carried away as she was on the way to the doctor. A peaceful protestor blinded. Oglala Sioux Tribal members detained (they are the only ones who never immigrated! wtf?!?!). People of color (citizens and those here legally) profiled, harassed, detained because of how they look, how they speak, how they dress. I could go on and on.

All of these people, they need us. We need us. 

The Republican members of Congress have the power to stop this. There is still time to pressure them to rein in ICE. Congress: 202-224-3121. You don't have to have the perfect thing to say. You just need to call. Honestly, I find it rather cathartic hounding Ron Johnson. ;)

What I do believe in is the power of the people. You and me. There are more of us than there are of them. We are fed up, and this doesn't have to continue. We just have to be willing to do something about it. Stand in your power. Don't give it away to them in complacency or fear. We are stronger together. 

Voces de la Frontera has resources to support immigrants, and rally to protect them in Wisconsin. Donate, volunteer, get involved. We need to be ready.

Monarcha is the rapid response line in Minnesota. They need our support. 

Keep an eye on the 287g program, and speak up! This gives municipalities federal money for local law enforcement to collaborate with ICE. Because they've been deputized in this way, essentially any police officers in participating counties are also effectively ICE agents. They often also have beds reserved in their jails for detainees. There are numerous counties in Wisconsin that are currently participating at the time of this writing: Brown, Calumet, Fond du Lac, Kenosha, Kewaunee, Kewaunee, Manitowoc, Marathon, Marquette, Outagamie, Sauk, Sheboygan, Washington, Waukesha, Waushara, Winnebago, and Wood Counties Sheriffs' Offices, and the Palmyra Police Department. This is also reversible! So if you live in one of those counties, speak up and say you do not want your police department participating!

Know that I'm doing what I can to stand with you in this. I've been standing up to bullies since 1987. Standing up to these bullies has become my new hobby.

If you need help regulating your nervous system, or finding moments to recharge to keep doing the thing, I'm here. 

I'm also wanting to offer Reiki to immigrants and those being harmed by this administration. If you would like to donate funds to help sponsor folks, or donate your own Reiki skills to help, let me know. Hopefully, our little bits of effort will lessen some of the long lasting impacts of this harm. 

Keep showing up.

Love ya'll and stay safe out there,

Sarah

Mikao Usui was a seeker. Born in 1865 in Japan, Usui had a diverse array of experiences including oversees travel, and jobs as a civil servant, journalist, missionary, and counselor for prisoners. He studied history, medicine, Buddhism, Christianity, psychology, asceticism, prophesy, physiognomy (the ability to judge one’s character by their facial features), and more, in his quest to discover the meaning of life. He eventually received his answer: “attain a state of complete peace/stillness of mind.”

Usui took up Zen Buddhism for three years hoping to reach this state, to no avail. He asked his master for advice, to which he replied, “Maybe you should experience death.” In March 1922, Usui gave up on life, and retreated up to Mount Kurama for meditation and fasting in preparation for his death. At midnight during his third week of fasting, Usui felt a powerful shock at the center of his brain, and lost consciousness. When he awoke at dawn, he felt refreshed in a way he had never felt before. Reiki energy had penetrated his body and soul. As the cosmic energy and his personal energy resonated together, he realized, “The Universe is me, and I am the Universe.”

Overjoyed that he had attained enlightenment, Usui ran down the mountain. He tripped over a rock, and ripped off his toenail. He placed his hand on his toe, and the pain vanished and the bleeding stopped. He shared this experience with his master, who guided him to use this ability to heal others and lead them to enlightenment. This is where Usui developed Reiki as a healing method, which would be passed down directly from teacher to student.

And so, Reiki as a healing art began.

Many drawn to Reiki are also seekers. Seeking depth, meaning, healing, something they might not have words for. 

Are you a seeker?

Perhaps, the Reiki energy calls to you. 

If you follow the call, you might be surprised where it might lead. 

We have a training program that starts in about a month. I invite you to join us, see where the path goes. 

Read more about the training here. It's super supportive and nourishing. 

Class size is limited to 3-6 students, and deadline to register is Jan 24th. 

I hope you'll join us. 

Reach out with questions.

In the Highest Good,
Sarah