We exist in the broader context of our society, local communities, and the time we live in. We can never fully separate ourselves from this atmosphere in which we reside. Even if we were to run off to live alone in the woods amidst lichen and fox, we'd have to consider what conditions led to that choice. What would we return to if we left those woods? The air from afar would still blow and drift into our wooded realm. Some may be able to distance themselves from the things they wish to run from, others do not have the privilege to be able to do so. This climate has a direct influence on our physical, mental, emotional, and relational health, and I see the effects it has on clients all the time.

The backdrop in which we are living is changing. We can all feel it. I've been listening to lots of folks lately; there are a lot of feelings and impulses. Some common themes: fear, anger, despair, exhaustion, confusion, disbelief, sadness, regret, hoping it will get better, a lack of desire or inability to pay attention to what's happening.

While we are always moving forward into the unknown, that is the nature of life, this unknown feels particularly precarious for many right now.

Like you, I do not know exactly how things will play out. Obviously, there are potentials that are out there, and we will see how things unfold. What I do know, is that each of us does have power and agency, and we can stand in that to help guide the direction we go (on a smaller and larger scale).

Suggestions for Navigating Through These Times  

Ground, Center, and Calm Your Nervous System
It is essential that we give ourselves space to feel our feelings when they come up, to air them out, offer yourself validation, kindness and compassion. It makes sense why you feel the way you feel given your experiences and what/who you care about. Even if there is a lot going on in your world, please try to find little pockets of time that you can take deep breaths and acknowledge what's there.

Practices that allow ourselves to settle help us get out of fight/flight (where a lot of us, myself included, have been lately), and into a more grounded, productive space. It makes sense why many have gone into survival, AND our actions, and words are going to be more effective if we can come from a more grounded, centered space.

The way each of us will need to navigate through the times to come will be different, because of our unique circumstances. Specific advice for some won't apply to others. Yet, if you are able to find that calm, regulated place within you, you will have greater access to your own inner knowing and guidance. If you check in regularly, you may find a pull to do certain things or reach out to certain people to help you find your way through.

If you don't already have go-to practices that help you check in with yourself, you might try: breathing deeply, meditating, doing yoga, journaling, receiving Reiki, walking in nature or looking at the clouds, doing an activity that gets you "in the zone" (music, movement, art, cooking, etc.).

Lean Into Your Community
We rely on others, and no matter how things play out we will need to give and receive support. Think of your values (i.e. love, truth, empathy, equity, freedom, respect, integrity, curiosity, etc). Who are the people in your life that share your values? Who can you turn to for a safe place to land, fill up your cup when you need a little more support and encouragement, and who do you want to provide care to in return? These might be people close to you like friends and family, but they might also be neighbors, community organizations, and maybe even strangers.

Some of us may already have a good support network, others might feel theirs is a bit sparse. Regardless of where you find yourself, how might you strengthen that web? Who can you reach out to? Deepen friendships or connections, initiate contact with someone you might have lost touch with, introduce yourself to your neighbor, or others at a local community group or store.

At this time that we are all feeling so divided, it is important that we remember each others' humanity. How can you call others in? How can you stay open-hearted? How can we create bridges?

Stay Engaged
Focusing on our locus of control helps us in remaining connected to our personal power. This suggestion flows from the last of leaning into community. Think of concrete ways that you can use your agency to feed the world you want to exist. Find one or two organizations with visions you align with to which you can volunteer, and/or donate. Aim to do so on a regular basis. Already involved? Are you able to up the ante in your time or monetary investment? Maybe you are able to invite others in? Do you have special skills, knowledge or privilege that might be of particular value and effectiveness right now?

Here are some ideas if you're looking for places to get involved: GSafe (shares an office building with us!), Sierra Club, SURJ, Planned Parenthood, your local food pantry, community center, child's school, or county park. Your local library is also a good place to see what is going on in your community and connect with resources. If you are motivated, maybe you create something of your own.

Also where are the sources where you can stay informed? Many folks have already been doing work that we believe in. We don't have to create from scratch by ourselves. Turn to the leaders and folks who are already doing the work, the ones who are well-acquainted with the terrain. Listen, learn, act accordingly.

That leads me to my final suggestion...

Do Not Obey in Advance
Timothy Snyder is a historian who has studied Europe, the Soviet Union, the Holocaust, and the rise and fall of authoritarian governments throughout history. With the threat of authoritarianism looming in the US, we have a lot we can glean from Snyder's teachings.

As Snyder says, authoritarian regimes are weakest at the beginning and end. This is where we are now. This is where we need to stay engaged so that this does not progress.

The first (of 20) lessons he shares is "do not obey in advance." Much of the power of authoritarianism is freely given. People will anticipate what these leaders will want, and offer that preemptively. This allows the leader to get away with more than they may have originally thought possible. 

So now, I ask you to use your voice, stay engaged, stay in your power, hold the line of your values.

To learn more about these essential lessons, you can read this short article, watch a playlist where Timothy describes the essence of each lesson, or read Snyder's book On Tyranny.

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To make it easier to contact my representatives (and so I don't have an excuse not to call) I've added them as contacts on my phone. You can find the info for your representatives here:

• Congress: 202-224-3121 (you'll be asked your zip code, and forwarded to your local representative)
• Senators
• House of Representatives

Making a call is easy, and only takes a couple minutes.

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Well, there you have it. This was a long one, but it all felt important during these times. If you stuck with me thank you. If you feel some healing work, meditations, or classes might help you, reach out! I'm here for you.

Let us know in the comments, what's helping you right now? Are there any causes that you are getting more involved in? Let's make that space a spot where we can share ideas and inspire each other.

Take good care of yourself, and each other,

Sarah

Hey There,

How ya doin?

There's a lot going on in the world right now. Hurricanes, world conflicts, the upcoming election... and whatever is going on in your personal world right now.

How are you holding up?

It can feel overwhelming for the average person; amplify that if you are a sensitive person.

Sometimes, when there is a lot going on, and we are on the verge of shutting down, or spinning out, we need to return to basics:

Sleep: Are you going to bed at a reasonable time so you have 7-8 hours to at least rest in bed?
Water: Have you had a glass of water today?
Food: Have you had some fruits or vegetables today?
Movement: Have you moved your body today?

You don't have to be perfect. You don't have to run for miles, or have an elaborate meal. Sometimes it's having an apple, going for a 5-10 min walk, or having a glass of water next to you as you work. These basics can go a long way in tending to our bodies and systems.

If you want to do a little more for yourself, you might consider doing a meditation. Have you tried my free "Being with What Is" meditation?

Maybe you could use a little more support through a session, or you'd like to join us for our upcoming live guided meditation on Thurs Oct 24th from 5:30-6:30pm CST. Remember these meditations are customized to the group, and you will get a recording you can download to listen to again later, or enjoy if you can't make it live.

Every little bit that you can do for yourself (and sometimes that's taking a little bit off your plate or offering yourself a little more grace) makes a difference.

Remember you have innate goodness within you, and you aren't the only one who wishes to operate from this place within you. We'll find our way. We just have to remember we are not alone, and there are others who are doing their best to come from a place of goodness and compassion too.

Here for you if you need it, and walking with all of you during these wild and surreal times.

Sarah


P.S. Would you do me a favor? Would you make sure you are registered to vote, and coordinate your plans to vote on election day Tues Nov 5th, or absentee/early? If you are in Wisconsin, you can get the details here, or if you are somewhere else in the US you can do so here. Using your voice, and right to vote is a simple but powerful way to show yourself that you matter.

Hello Friends,

"It's a good life, honey, if you don't grow weary." This chorus from an Alexa Woodward song has been running over and over in my mind the last few weeks. Perhaps, my inner coach is encouraging me to keep going during these trying times. We've been living in the pandemic era for over six months now, and so much of the shadow side of our society has come up to the surface. We have been confronted with the opportunity to face the unsustainable, the orphans, the bullies. Doing the work to heal and shift into integrity takes attention and presence. Two things, that as we move through these collective traumas, can take even more effort to access. It is also clear that we need to think of the long game. The coronavirus, and systemic racism are not going to vanish overnight. But how do we keep learning, and doing the work that needs to be done without burning out? Have you been feeling weary? My intent today is to explore ways that we can nourish ourselves so we can continue to do what we need to personally and collectively to move through these times while staying sane and connected to our hearts.

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Before we get to our regularly scheduled programming, I feel urged to call out what I saw on Tuesday evening while watching the presidential debates. Speaking of weariness, I know many of us are tired of what we have been experiencing. So perhaps, before reading on, take a few deep breaths, allow yourself to feel what is present within you, and offer yourself some compassion. These are trying times. The behavior of our commander-in-chief, was that of a cornered narcissist lashing out trying to regain ground and control. Coming to identify the behaviors of narcissism is something we explore in my Empowered Empath series, as there is a common tendency for empaths and narcissists to be drawn together, and recognizing what is going on, and how to not get tangled in the dynamics is important for staying healthy and sane. So for those of you who are not already familiar with narcissism, how it shows up, and how to protect yourself here are a few points.
Narcissism is a trait that exists on a spectrum. In those where it is dominant, we see these key characteristics: the desire for power and control over others; a lack of respect for other's autonomy, and who they really are; a fabricated illusion of grandeur to compensate for a sense of hollowness within; a severe lacking of empathy for others. Another term that is used for narcissists and other challenging personality types is "energy vampires," as these people "feed" on the energy of others to sustain themselves. In their woundedness (likely from early life) they have not learned how to maintain their energy on their own, while respecting others' sovereignty, so narcissists rely on others for "narcissistic supply." This can be other's admiration, bolstering of their ego, attention, even "getting another's goat," so to speak, and feeding off of their anger, and fear.

There are many different types of narcissists, but in Trump we see the type that is most often associated with the term, a grandiose or overt narcissist. Narcissists are highly manipulative, and we saw many of those techniques in Tuesday's debate. Expert gaslighting: distorting facts in an attempt to control the narrative and reality of others. The intent of gaslighting is to instill so much doubt in others that they question their reality, and turn to the gaslighter as their new authority on reality. When they are successful, the illusion of grandeur or perfection surrounding the narcissist is so thick that we deny anything we see to the contrary. When that happens we've bitten the hook. We see this in the way Trump tries to control the narrative around his handling of Covid-19, despite our experiences to the contrary. The incessant interrupting was also an overwhelming attempt to dominate and steamroll, not only Biden, but the moderator, as well, to have control. Narcissists go for the low blow. They stockpile information against you, and throw it out as zingers when they think your defenses are down or you're most vulnerable. We saw this in his callous remarks about Biden's sons, and without any regard or compassion for the loss of Biden's son Beau.

We are not dealing with the average human being that we can reason with, have a discussion with an intent to find common ground, and compromise for solutions. Narcissists who are not getting help (the vast majority don't because they are in denial that they need support) cannot meet you in the middle. Their agenda of control will always be on the forefront of their mind. If they feel like they are starting to lose that control or narcissistic supply, they will double down. That is what we are seeing right now.

I could go on... but I will say if you were feeling drained, angry, upset, etc. after watching the debate, that is because what we witnessed was not healthy. As a country we have been in an abusive relationship with this president, and what unfolded on Tuesday was one verbally and energetically violent episode. If you have had narcissists or abuse in your life you may have felt particularly triggered after that event. If this is you, remember to have compassion for yourself, and hopefully there will be something useful for you in the later part of this article. Please seek out support if you are needing it.

A few points that I share with my empath students to safely and sanely navigate these dynamics:

• Practice discernment. See clearly what is going on, call out distortion, and lies. Trust facts, and your inner authority.
• Don't fall prey to fear. Trump is using intimidation so that we do not trust our system or our own individual and collective power. Stand in your power, and use your voice to vote.
• Practice energetic boundaries. If you have taken on some of this toxic energy breathe it out and to the Earth to be transmuted into neutral or life-giving energy. Breathe in deeply and fill your energy field with light, and compassion. Imagine yourself surrounded by a bubble that filters out low vibrational energy.

Still figuring out your plan for voting?
In Wisconsin, there is still time to register to vote absentee, or early. All the information Wisconsinites need is here: MyVoteWisconsin (One of the things I love is that if you vote absentee, they give you the ability to track your ballot to make sure it is received.)In another state and want to vote early, or absentee? Find all the details at Better Know A Ballot.

For registration and all other voter information visit: Vote.gov


Your Voice Matters!

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Okay, now onto the good stuff: nourishment and dispelling weariness.


Let's take another moment to pause, close our eyes, and breathe. Allow space for whatever might be coming up in you physically or emotionally. Whatever you are experiencing is just energy and information. As we practice sitting with it as we breathe, and offer compassionate witnessing, healing begins to happen. Stay with this as long as you need to.

Now, reflect upon what has been working well for you over the last several months. (I've created this worksheet for your ease in following this exercise if you like.) What has brought joy, comfort, relief, and constructive outlets for you as we move through these times? Maybe you are going for regular walks, having virtual game nights with friends and family, making tasty meals, writing poetry, meditating, puttering in the garden, napping, or snuggling with your pets or children. What new or old habits have been helping you sustain? Make a list of what has been filling your cup, how often you have been able to participate in those activities, and star the ones that have been particularly impactful. Now considering one activity at a time, with the changing of the seasons, is there anything that can, or needs to be tweaked so you can continue to enjoy it into the cooler months? Allow this to be a time for your creativity to emerge. If you can't find a solution for how to adapt a certain outlet, make note of it, and what needs it has been meeting for you (connection, movement, play, rest, support, learning, hope, inspiration, etc.).

Now, are there any new activities that you could incorporate to replace any that you will no longer be able to do? Focus on the needs that were being met, and brainstorm what other ways you might be able to meet those needs. For instance, if you were gardening and it was helping you feel grounded and inspired by beauty, maybe you could dream and plan for your garden next year, learn about the plants and wildlife in your area, study ways that you can preserve food, do grounding meditations, or paint picturesque landscapes. Perhaps there are some needs you haven't been able to meet at all during this time. What are they, and how could you prioritize them?

There may be things that have been bogging you down that you need to let go of. For example, obligations to relationships that are draining or not reciprocal, guilt about resting or taking care of yourself, or habits that keep you busy or distract that don't actually nourish you. Ask yourself, what don't I have to do? What can I let go of?

Sit with your list. Star your highest priorities to maintain, integrate, or release. Then narrow it down to 1-3 that you can focus on in the next couple months to support your well-being.

What did you come up with? Share with us in the comments .


Take good care of yourselves!

Much love,
Sarah

Here in the United States, election season is in full swing. As debates and interviews air, articles release, and opinions are displayed on social media, chances are you feel a mix of emotions: fear, concern, frustration, judgement of those with other views, righteousness, hope for something better, a desire to do something, ambivalence, hopelessness, etc.

Regardless of your political stance, the dynamics that are at play in our country give us each a chance to look at ourselves more deeply. What we see playing out between the candidates, their parties, and supporters mirrors the conflicts that occur within our own mind. As human beings, we all have a tendency to get caught up in blame games (making others wrong, and punishing ourselves with guilt for things we have done). We can inflate ourselves as a protective mechanism, so others do not see our faults, and insecurities. We dwell on the past. We divide ourselves into Us verses Them, making one group the good guys, and the other the enemy.

As many of the collective energies are feeding off of these divisive dynamics, how can we shift to a more aware space, and perhaps even heal? The key begins with embracing our humanness, our vulnerability. In order to really connect with ourselves, and then in turn with each other, we must be authentically honest, and real. What is underneath our desires? Can we gracefully and compassionately acknowledge the mistakes we have made in our life, and allow others forgiveness for theirs? Are we willing to see that at the core of our views, the vast majority of us have a need to feel safe, cared for, and loved?

When we give ourselves the safe place to truly acknowledge all parts of ourselves, those we like, those we don't, and those that we pretend aren't even there, we create ripe space to transform. We start to see more clearly what things really are. We begin to connect. We begin to listen with willingness and respect. We begin to heal.

No matter what you are feeling now, are you willing to allow compassion to seep in for yourself? How would that look, feel, or sound for you?

Share your thoughts of how you are cultivating compassion during this election session here.

If you would like support in this process, feel free to schedule a session with me.

We are all in this together,
Sarah Barlow