Musings from the Journey
Enhance your life and fortify a deeper connection with your True Self.
 Seasons are shifting. Snow flurries are swirling outside my window as I type. I don't know about you, but my hibernation mode is starting to kick in. My kitties are extra snuggly and looking to share some warmth. They seem to lull me into sleep anytime I take a break on the couch.
While there's lots to do in our personal and collective lives, the work never stops, it's important that we find at least pockets of rest. It might mean putting a little less on your calendar, letting your pace slow down. Maybe you turn in earlier at night, or carve out a couple hours a week for yourself to just be. I invite you to think about what kind of rest might supportive for you, and how you can realistically make it happen in your schedule. Sometimes, we need a little assistance getting our systems to settle, or a place that doesn't have the distractions of home. If that's resonates, you might find find some Reiki time supportive. You can get all tucked in with the table warmer going, and let the Reiki energy gently soothe away your troubles. Many people note that they sleep quite well after having some Reiki, and things that would normally bother them, don't impact them as much as they used to. Let me know if that's something you're interested in. You can book online here. Rest well friends, Sarah
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The blame game abounds. How are you feeling right now? Let's pause and breathe with those feelings for a second. I wonder what universal human needs might be under those feelings? Perhaps a need for safety, understanding, a shared reality, love, fairness, etc? It makes sense why you feel the way you do, when you can see the unmet needs underneath. I invite you to offer yourself some compassion for whatever it is you are going through. Now, we can look outward and notice that others also have their own feelings, and needs underneath them. Many times, the blame game is a tactic (often unconscious, because we haven't learned anything different) to not be with our pain and acknowledge what's underneath. It pins the problem as another person, rather than saying, "I feel hurt, scared or angry, because I'm needing to matter, be heard, or belong. Will you help be part of the solution?" That can be far more vulnerable. Blame also makes it easier to forget that the other person is human too. In being human, we all have the expanse of emotions to feel. We also all have the same universal human needs. We might not like how other people are acting. We don't have to agree. But if we are going to find our way through this, each of us has to remember our own humanity. Then we need to look for it in others. (Even if they don't see it in you, which I know is especially hard and painful. Sending extra love and gentleness for you here if that feels true for you.) The small moments of connection, softness, openness that cut through the blame, have a chance to save us when they ripple into the world. It has the capacity to disarm. This isn't easy work, but it's important. It starts first with empathy for yourself. Then you extend it outward when you've filled your cup a bit. You can't give what you don't have. It's not always fair, but sometimes it's necessary to be the one who shows up first, so things don't spiral out of control. Hopefully, the grace is reciprocated later, or you find others who have the capacity to hold space for you. It's not an excuse for harmful behavior or letting accountability slide. But we'll never have a chance for true repair if we can't get past the walls of protection and attack to what is underneath. The practice of non-violent communication is where I learned much of this, and you might find it supportive if you would like to learn more. While I don't have the answers to all the things we are going through now, I do believe that when we remember our humanity it can be an antidote to the harm. You never know what might happen if enough little pebbles crumble off the wall of division. Hang in there. I care for you. Sarah  We've all been seeing the hub bub that's arisen from lots of insecure, defensive folks in positions of power about three simple letters lately.
D E I Yeah. I said it. Firings, loss of contracts, fear of retribution for using certain terms/letters... Organizations twisting themselves into pretzels. Seems to me, the regime only wants the First Amendment to apply to certain folks. Well. "I do what I want," says my rebellious part. I have the privilege of answering to no one, except myself and my conscience. I get to call the shots for my business, and I don't risk getting fired for saying something. And, I'm a white lady, our western society usually doesn't pay me any mind. So with that privilege, I am going to talk about it, and I'm going to invite you in on something. Just because the regime is trying to silence oppressed groups, erase history, and intimidate us doesn't mean we all have to give in. We can still share the stories, uplift the voices, and keep doing the work on our own time, whether or not the organizations we are a part of are doing the same. I hope we get to a time where the systems of oppression oppress no more, but they are really doubling down right now. So that means, we mustn't stop! We keep going! And those of us who are less at risk... people who look like me... we need to be taking more risks so those targeted aren't shouldering this burden. A few of my trusted resources for D.E.I. and history:
Take a class with them. Donate to their platforms. Share their messages. Support others who are doing the good work. They are all excellent! THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER! ~Sarah P.S. For anyone wondering, "Sarah, why are you talking about DEI? You practice Reiki and healing work, why do you have to talk about this?" First, pretty much all of us are impacted by DEI, because of the different identities we experience around race, class, gender, sexuality, ability, age, etc., etc., etc. When I work with folks in session, we talk about this impact ALL. THE. TIME. It's inescapable for many people. If you can escape it, you are probably in a preferred or privileged group. (This doesn't make you bad. It just means you inherited power, whether it has anything to do with you or not.) Finally, the health of the whole, impacts the health of the individual. If our systems are harmful, it harms the people in it. Just like if our water is poisoned, it'd be pretty hard to stay healthy drinking that water. Hope that helps.  Hey there,
A friend of mine recently shared this poem with me. I feel it relates well with healing, and thought I would share. For When I Am Hard on Myself If you can soften your body, your heart can settle, and if your heart can settle your mind can listen. —Augusta Kantra When you are full of self-regret and turn your fists on your own heart, I hope you will recall that summer afternoon when you dove headlong in the pond and floated there until your fingers pruned, until hard thoughts were soft as milkweed down, until you were a gentle thing without a thorn, until you were the song of birds and frogs and dusk … I know how shame and not-enoughness turn us on ourselves. And that is why I plant this seed of memory. When shame shows up, remember, self, you float. Remember, you can soften. Love, like water, gentles us. Such gentleness is how we learn to listen. —Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer Your assignment this week: Take part in an activity that helps you soften, or take five minutes to conjure the memory of a time you did and soak that in to your bones. If you need a little help, you can always let the Reiki melt away your troubles. Reach out if you need to. You can read more of Rosemerry's poems and support her work here. Take good care of you. ~Warmly, Sarah What do you want to grow?  If you know me, you know I am a sucker for a good metaphor. As I've been gardening over the years, the process has revealed how it is very much like healing, and personal growth.
When we first come upon a parcel of land upon which we wish to grow flowers or food, we don't always inherit a pristine plot that's been well-tended by previous stewards. It might be overtaken by weeds, had poisons or debris that have seeped into the soil, or be a monoculture and the lack of diversity shows in the dullness of soil life. Our lives might be like this. We don't have control of what we've inherited from our families, culture, or communities. There might be many blessings you've received, perhaps this garden was well cared for in the past, and you have many healthy perennials or trees to enjoy fruit, shade, and fragrance. Though many of us who find our way to healing practices often need to clean up what was left to us, even if it wasn't our fault, because if we don't, it may poison us, or keep us from cultivating what we wish to enjoy. Just like gardening, healing is an ongoing process. We need to continue to check in with our plants making sure they are getting the water they need, nutrients, aren't been crowded out, and are in harmony with the other plants, insects, and beings around them. By making small or big tweaks along the way, what you want to grow gets the support it needs. Sometimes, there are other things beyond our control. A stretch of drought, a wave of pests that eats up your peppers, a huge wind storm that uproots your sunflowers. Some of these scenarios can be curbed, or recovered from. For other events, we just have to accept our losses, and that we won't be able to continue as planned this year. My favorite parts of gardening are when I see the bright little shoots of new growth in the spring, or tasting a cherry tomato warmed from the sun, or catching glowing the sunset as the songbirds fly while smelling aromas of sage and sweetgrass. Gifts from just being out in the broader web of nature, and the sweet little wonders from having a very personal relationship with the soil, the plants, the pollinators. There are so many ways that our healing can surprise, and sustain us in simple, profound and grounded ways. How is the garden of your healing looking today? What do you want to grow? What does it need? Cheers to you, and the green and growing ones, ~Sarah Leaning on the wisdom of good ol' Mister Rogers.  Hey Friend,
I am frequently at a loss about what to say in these letters lately. In the early days, my intentions for writing them was to provide some healing, support, solace, and reflection. With the intensity of the current events lately, it's hard to feel like I know what to do. I'm a human going through this right with you. As I say often, I'm not master and commander of the universe. I never imagined we'd be living through times like this. Though I've got tools I use and share, they're not a magic wand that makes the flood waters recede, saves the systems of support that provide health care and food assistance, or dismantles the concentration camps in the Everglades. These camps are not far from where I spent the first decade of my life, which is sort of surreal to me. There is a significant lack of empathy and humanity in many of our leaders right now. Honestly, there's a lot to cry or be angry about. That is a natural, and understandable response to what's happening. The more that time goes on, the more it's clear to me that all that we have is each other. I find my faith in humanity gets restored a bit when I spend some time with friends, each of you in session, or out in nature. It reminds me that there are good folks out there, who care about what's happening, and that care about other people and the planet. It got me thinking about Mister Rogers, and the saying he got from his mom. When sh*it hits the fan (no, that part isn't from Mister Rogers ), "always look for the helpers. You will always find someone trying to help." There are a lot of us out here that are trying to help, and that care. Things are hard, and there will be more tough moments to come. But if we speak up, and show up for each other, we will find our way through, and it will lessen some of the suffering. Don't give up, Sarah. If there's anyway I can help you during these times, reach out. I'm here. Take good care of you and your community, Sarah Happy Solstice!  Happy Solstice!
Today the Northern Hemisphere is as close to the sun as we will get all year. The day is long, the night is short, and summer is in full swing! I hope you are finding ways to take care of yourself this season. Action embodied in light and warmth. Light that radiates to give life. That is what I think of when I tune into the archetype of sun energy. Take a moment and breathe with me. Place a hand on your upper belly (your solar plexus). This energy center is often considered our inner sun. Can you feel your warmth? How's that inner fire? Is she dormant, blazing or somewhere in between? Ideally, our inner fire has a steady burn like a hearth fire: safely contained, gently warming the surrounding area, and able to cook a nourishing meal. I invite you to reflect on how you can tend your inner fire. Maybe your fire needs a little more oxygen to breathe and warm you up. Conversely, maybe a little flowing water is needed, letting the tears of your feelings release pressure, soothe anger, and calm the flames. Perhaps your fire is ready to share some comfort, nourishment, or guiding light for others. Notice your solar energy, and let it inform you. If you'd like some support tending that inner fire, you know where to find me. Sarah Being Yourself = an Act of Courage and Beauty  Embodying who I really am, and supporting others in doing the same has always been a primary undercurrent of why I do this healing work. We all have parts of us that are wounded, hidden, or rejected. Parts that lay dormant, afraid to shine; "Who am I to be brilliant, courageous, or _____?" Parts that contort themselves into roles we've been told we need to fill, or that are just trying to help us survive. As we bring curiosity and care to these aspects of ourselves, we release burdens, and we begin to feel more like our Self.
As we go through this exploration, we often are confronted with beliefs we've absorbed by osmosis from our family or society: what it means to be a certain gender, masculine or feminine, who or how to love, how we "earn our worth," or "what makes us lovable," etc. Many times, we find that the ideas we've adopted don't fit us in certain places and need to be reworked, or abandoned completely. The cost of holding onto these ill-fitted beliefs might mean losing ourselves, our mental and emotional well-being, or far worse... our life. When I see the LGBTQIA community, I see folks who are willing to engage in this self-inquiry. Folks who explore what is real within them, despite what may or may not be supported by the circles around them. People who have the courage to say yes to (or at minimum ask) what is true within, and in doing so, save themselves rather than make others feel comfortable. You all are some of the bravest and most beautiful people out there. You lead by example of how to be your authentic self. Together, we have the opportunity to learn what it means to be fully human. We all have access to this wide range of experience and expression. None of us are excluded from being gorgeous, compassionate, handy, strong, brave, intelligent, creative, gentle, etc, etc, etc. There are so many ways to love, and so many ways to be. None of this is new. People have existed in these multitudinous expressions for centuries and across cultures. Diversity is part of humanity, and nature. Anyway, these are precarious times, especially if you are trans, non-binary, or are a part of the queer community. If that includes you, I would like to offer you this blessing if you would like to receive it. As they say, take what speaks to you, and leave the rest.
Hugs and Happy Pride, Sarah What kind of legacy do you want to leave behind?  Have you ever watched Finding Your Roots with Henry Louis Gates, Jr.? I always find the threads and ancestral stories that are revealed fascinating. We have all sorts of characters in our family line. I have to remember, these aren't just characters. They were real people just like you and me, and they didn't have the 20/20 hindsight of how things were going to turn out. Whether you know your family history, or its a bit a of a mystery, you probably have noticed some of the ways the generations before you have impacted your life, even if it's just how your parents and grandparents shaped your life experiences.
But have you ever thought about the kind of ancestor you will be? I imagine those of you with children have probably thought about this. I know if you're reading this, you are part of a mindful bunch. Even if you don't have progeny, you will still be an ancestor to the humans and other creatures on this planet yet to come. What are the stories that you want told about auntie or uncle _______? How do you imagine your descendants will be impacted by the ripples of your life? Certainly, we are not perfect, and we can't clean up all the messes or fix all the problems in one lifetime. But we can choose how we respond to the moment that has come before us. There are a couple aspects of this that I think of: 1) How do we deal with the patterns that we've inherited within our family? Do we do our part to untangle that knotted ball of yarn or do we pass it on? This might be patterns of illness, dysfunctional relationship, addiction, etc. On the contrary, what gifts do we carry forward that we've been blessed with? 2) How do we respond to the scenarios that are unfolding in the collective? What kind of a world and community do we leave behind for everyone? So... what do you think? What kind of ancestor do you want to be? Share with us in the comments. As you do your best to live that intention out into the world, remember you are not doing it alone. Somewhere in your line, you likely have ancestors who found the courage, cleverness, creativity, healing, etc. that you are wishing to embody who can walk with you and guide you along the way. Even if you can't find them in your family line, there are people in the history of humanity who've likely forged that path before. They are cheering for you. Here's to having the fortitude to leave something good behind, Sarah Building resilience through the small moments.  I'm going to keep this one short and sweet today.
I recently listened to the We Can Do Hard Things podcast, episode 385: "The Science of Healing Heartbreak with Florence Williams." As we all find our way through sorrow in our life, the findings shared in this conversation were particularly noteworthy to me. A key takeaway: awe and wonder build resiliency and help heal our hearts, minds, and bodies after heartbreak. Your Assignment: As you go about your day, seek out details that bring you a sense of awe. Nature is often a good place to look, but you might find it with loved ones, or even simple pleasures like a piece of chocolate or cup of coffee. When you notice that wonder-filled thing, pause. Inhale and exhale deeply for a few breaths. Soak in the nourishment of that small experience (even if other things in your life are not so great right now). If you can access a little bit of gratitude, savor that, and feel it in your heart. Then when you feel ready, continue on with your day. Repeat. If this speaks to you, try to find at least one moment of awe each day. Listen to the full conversation if you want to hear more. Let us know what a moment of awe you had recently in the comments. To a more beautiful existence, Sarah |
Sarah Barlow
Reiki Master Teacher and Owner of Embrace Your Essence Sign up for our E-Letters Here
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